What Was I Made For?

I pondered this piece or this thought I had recently. What does it mean to be human? Or worse yet, what does it mean to be me?

I listened to Billie Eilish’s song, What Was I Made For? I watched the Barbie movie. And I broke! Thanks a lot, Greta Gerwig. I know that sounds ridiculous. How could a movie about a doll make me feel this way? But this blog post isn’t about my feelings toward the movie Barbie. I’ll save that for another post.

I can be anything! I laugh out loud. What a joke! I can do anything if I put my mind to it! If that were true, why do I feel so stuck? Why do I feel like a failure? That I must show everyone that I’m doing better! That I am looking for a better-paying job! That I dress better! That I have myself figured out! To dab down the dreams of a twenty-something-year-old college student.

What makes me happy?

The days when I read books and discussed literature. The deep dives into Jane Austen or the horror-filled night that inspired Mary Shelley to craft Frankenstein. I wrote for myself and joined poetry events with my friends. Those were the years I was the happiest. But that’s seen as a dream not pursued. Something that you can’t pay for or live off of. A life not worth anything! What’s the point if it doesn’t get you a better-paying job!

I’m unhappy where I am. I’m unhappy with who I am. I want to go on to something better. Something that makes me happy. But happiness is tied to a better wage. Happiness is tied to a mortgage or a life figured out. If you don’t have a stable plan, you are seen as a failure by other people. Instead of doing something that gives me meaning.

What was I made for?

I feel like I’m stuck between I know what I want and what other people want for me! I’ll be thirty in a couple of years. And what do I have to show for it? I had a good early twenties! How come I couldn’t follow it through into the beginning of my thirties?

I can’t believe a Barbie movie triggered me back to my existential crisis era. I am smart. I know what I want, but it feels so impossible to obtain. Where did that excited 20-year-old girl go? The girl with a light in her eye felt happy enough in her own skin. She didn’t need foresight or a plan for a “better life” as some people like to say. She knew what made her happy. So much changed for her and I felt like I lost my way. I lost my will for a good life or a happy life for myself. So when I heard the idea of “What was I made for?” I broke. I am not the first to feel this way and I won’t be the last. I want to feel happy and not apologize for searching for it. It feels like I won’t be good enough for it and that spills into everything I do. I want to be good enough but never do.

I hate that I feel this way about myself. I am smart. I am worthy of anything I set my mind to. I guess, my self-worth hasn’t caught up with my brain and I freeze in place.

What am I made for? Who knows, but it isn’t what I am doing now! That has to change or else, I don’t know where I’ll end up.

A little depressing and the ramblings of a woman in an existential crisis. But I guess that’s the truth at this moment in my life. I hope you are all doing good and I’m glad to be back blogging. Hope to see you in the next post.

Misfit Toy

Hey everyone. I know it has been a while. In all honesty, i haven’t been writing a lot lately. That upsets me. I used to write everyday to keep my mind active. Now, it has kind of lessened. Im setting out to change that. Also, i wanted to come back onto my blog. I like updating stuff here and get feedback from other writers on WordPress. I hope to start updating again. I even have plan for a new blog series, just like my interview with a writer series. I shall update that very soon. But for now, here is a poem i wrote before my few months of writers block. Hope you enjoy it:

Misfit toy

 

Broken

Disfigured

Maimed

Observed from eager eyes of

Blood thirsty audiences

They marvel,

They spit,

They cheer,

They jeer,

Whatever tickles their fancy.

I, always under the watchful eye

Of the Master

Master of tricks,

Mind or otherwise.

My “difference”,

Gains him enjoyment.

My “afflictions”,

Give him power.

As i get smaller and smaller

In my caged existence,

He gets bigger and bigger

More sinister and more power hungry.

His laughs fill my mind

With poison.

“Your only worth,

Your only job is to please me”

The horrifying gurgle of his voice

Fills my thoughts

And corrupts my mind.

The master of my own affliction…

And the audience fill the stage

To watch my fall,

My grand finale.

I am done.

This misfit toy has played

Its part

Sorry I’m Late…I’ve been writing

Hi, it’s your girl. I’m back.

I know it’s been about a month since my last post. But that’s okay because I’ve been writing. These past few weeks have been hectic with my normal life and then with my writing life. So I wanted to give an update and an apology for my lack of posting to my blog. For the past month, I was writing and reading. I kicked myself in the ass to start writing. I want to get my work in progress finished by the end of March.

As of this week, I hit 20,000 words for Project Selkie and I wanted to cry. That’s nowhere close to my word count goal, but you don’t understand. When it comes to writing books, I always quit before I finish. I looked at my old Wattpad page and I never finished those projects. The last time I finished a book fully, I was sixteen years old. So to hit 20,000 words in my novel, I couldn’t believe I came so far. But the hard work isn’t done. Still have 30,000 words left to go and I’m so excited to get it finished.

In other writing news, I’m writing a short story for a submission deadline. So I’ve moved my novel deadline to some time in April since I need to get this short story submission finished by the end of March. I want my fair shot at this so I prioritize my short story first. And to be honest, it’s really hard. I had a full writing day yesterday on my day off and I hit that point where you hate your own story.

Is it worth finishing? Is it any good? Does it make sense? It’s at this point where I usually finish the story, barely edit it and give up on submitting it. But Im pushing through. Just got my 4, 000 words down and now I need to do a lot of editing to it. Writing is hard. It’s never easy but I know if I can get it done, I’ll feel so amazing at the end. Been challenging myself a bit as well. For example, I missed a few days of writing so I challenged myself to write 7,800 words in a day to catch up with the word count I missed.

My god, it was really hard. I ended up hitting 6,000 words in the end and that’s when I hit the 20,000-word landmark. An amazing feeling and I want to keep that train going.

Other writing news, I decided to give myself a challenge. I saw a tiktok where someone said if you write a page a day, you’ll get a book at the end of the year. So I started my own personal project that I hope to write for this time next year. It also a project where if I get overwhelmed by Project Selkie, I’ll snug up to this one. So I’m excited for that one as well. A project for fun and joy while I write the hard hitting book.

So it has been an amazing time for writing for me. I’m glad to have that spark to get me going and hopefully it keeps me going. I have other thoughts on my mind, that I may share in another blog post soon. But thats all I have for you for now. Hope you are doing well and see you all in the next post 💜

Making Time to Write

Always the main struggle for any writer: making time to write.

If you are like me and writing isn’t your full-time job, it can be difficult to keep up with your writing when you have another job and other things in life that get in the way. Also, I am a massive procrastinator. If I don’t have any motivation or don’t have the best mental mindset at the time, I won’t write. Adding to my busy work schedule, finding time to write and sticking to it is really difficult.

I guess with any writer, you just need to find that spark. A moment in your day when that inspiration hits and if you have that moment, take advantage of it. For example, I was working when I saw a beautiful sunrise outside my work window. I took pictures and admired them, but I felt the urge to write them down. So on my first break, I took out my phone and wrote down a few lines of something. Then after work, I went home and wrote some more after that. Sometimes you make time to write and other times, it just comes on you. You just have to go with it. One time, I watched a YouTube video by the author Lindsey Cummings, where she talked about making time to write. All the video contained, was Lindsay going about her day and maybe getting one hour of writing squeezed in. It can be like that sometimes.

Like me, I am writing this blog post before I am set to do a closing shift. I won’t get out until like one o’clock in the morning. So between my lunch and getting ready for work, I write up a blog post or get some of my novel done. It’s always about making your own time for the things you love. That’s one thing I’ve been trying to fix. I never made time for writing and made excuses like I am too tired after work or I just want to watch tv instead. At the moment, I make time when I know I want to write. Like today, I wanted to write about this, because I always struggle with it. I wished I could write 1,000 words every day so I can finish my book in two months. I wish I could write different things every day so I can submit something every week. Sometimes you can make the time to write, but not feel like writing. For me, I always return to my love for writing but find it hard to maintain it. Lindsay Cummings said in her video, that if you love writing, you’ll always find time for the things you love. I adore writing, but sometimes it is just hard to find time to do it. I don’t know. I felt like talking about it because I have been struggling with it lately. But I know Ill always come back to it. Writing will always be my first love.

Kiss Her Once For Me Review

✨✨✨✨

Oh, how I wish I read this during the holiday season. But I did read it in January, so I was kind of in the tail end of the Christmas season. Anyway, this book would’ve been perfect for Christmas. In the first few chapters, Alice Cochrun envelops you in her crisp and sweet Christmas world. She puts enough sweetness and the feeling of the holiday into her story through the snow days, the warmth of locations, and the family events in the Prescott household. As I listened to the audiobook, the narration made me feel cozy.

That’s the best way to describe this book: cozy and chill Christmas vibes.

I saw a review on this book saying that it doesn’t feel like a Christmas book. There isn’t a massive amount of detail put into what Christmas would be, such as the smell of gingerbread men, the twinkly lights, or the extreme amount of sweetness and Christmas joy. That’s true. If you seek a book like that, Kiss Her Once For Me isn’t for you. It has a chill amount of Christmas delight and coziness in it and it never shoves it in your face. It lets you sit and enjoy this world, instead of overtly doing a sensory overload on the particular season it places itself in. I enjoyed that aspect of the book.

I enjoyed Alice Cochrun’s writing. A nice, easy read but she sits nicely in the cozy category of books. I loved the sense of warmth and familiarity she put into each aspect of her writing. I adored the moments of quiet such as the first time Jack and El first met in El’s favorite cafe or the times El would escape to draw in the kitchen/washing room in the Prescott house. Her writing looked, felt, and tasted pleasant. Every day that I threw on the audiobook, I felt snug each time I returned to El and Jack’s story.

Speaking of story, I knew what I was getting myself into when I picked up Kiss Her Once For Me.

I wanted an easy and fun read. I didn’t expect the greatest love story ever. I just wanted a silly, fun time. And I got that. I enjoyed the little romance between Jack and El. It wasn’t perfect and it wasn’t ground-breaking. But I enjoyed their relationship journey. The plot of the book was very unoriginal at its start. A fake marriage pact to get money and it turns out that you’re in love with your soon-to-be husband’s sister. A messy, but fun start to a cozy story.

The characters carried that through with some silly shenanigans, but with delightful dialogue.

I loved the main character Ellie. I related to her so much with her social anxiety, her fear of failure, and her sexual orientation. I didn’t find her a compelling character, but I thoroughly enjoyed her and wanted her to find her happiness. I identified with her so easily and related to her struggles. However, I did have a big question mark once I hit the moment where she reunites with Jack at the Prescott mansion. Ellie identifies as a bisexual demisexual. When I heard that, I was so excited because I’m finding myself in this fictional character. In case you didn’t know, demisexual means, you are a person who only experiences sexual feelings and attraction after developing a close emotional relationship and not on the basis of first impressions, physical characteristics etc. For me, to have a book where your main character is a demisexual was really important to me or I found that really important when Alice Cochrun did it. P.S if you know of any other books that have a bisexual demisexual main character, please let me know. I would love to read more of them.

However, I did find it strange that Ellie, who is demisexual, clearly fell in love with Jack after knowing her for one day. Is this possible, I thought. I literally had to google it, because personally, I can’t imagine falling in love with someone as quickly as a demisexual myself. According to Google, the length of time needed to create an emotional bond varies. Some people who are demisexual develop a close bond quickly, but others only develop a bond after several years of friendship with someone. So I guess in the case of Jack and Ellie, they made such as strong bond on that first day, Ellie felt sexual attraction. Maybe in fiction, I can let it slide a bit, but it did give me a big question mark in my brain. The usual trope in romance fiction of falling in love quickly didn’t serve as well when you had one of the leads as a demisexual.

The other thing I had a gripe with this book, would’ve been the Prescott family. I wish we had more time with them. I feel like I didn’t get to know them really well. Not as well as I had hoped anyway. I still enjoyed their scenes, but the real people I got to know in the book, were Jack, Ellie, Dillon, and less so, Andrew. It was a shame that I felt these characters didn’t get as much time to shine as I would’ve liked.

But overall, I really enjoyed this book. Technically, the book would get a 3 or 3.5 starts out of 5, but I enjoyed my time reading it and I would read it again. So it gets 4 stars for that.

Little tidbits that I personally liked:

I liked that El was a digital artist – I don’t know why. I just love stories where the main character is an artist, a writer, or something in that field.

Queer representation – my first book with a main female character who is bisexual. Dillon is non-binary and Jack is Jack. I loved that the writer incorporated pronouns into the story. It was very subtle with an expressed dialogue asking for pronouns or in the general narration, the character doesn’t express anyone else’s pronouns until told otherwise.

Write something silly

I had a rough writing day. I’m in the middle of my Work in Progress when I did some massive maneuvering. Whilst writing some new chapters, I took chapters from my other draft and plotted them into my new draft. By doing this, I confused myself about the timeline and placement of these chapters. Easily fixed but also stuck. How do these chapters flow together? What do I need to delete or add, in order for these things to flow? I’m so overwhelmed. I felt like I was losing my writing mojo for the day, and got upset. With my busy working schedule and not finding time to write, I don’t like to squander that time when I do get it.

So as a way to keep the juices flowing, I hop on to another project, either my blog or other short stories I plan to write. However, on this stressful day, I wrote something silly. I took a break from my overwhelming writing session and saw two rats in my countryside back garden. One was more gentle and slow whilst munching on some liquid leftovers in my dog’s bowl and the other was much faster, agile, and skittish. I watch their interactions, and their movements, and whilst my mother was washing dishes, I started naming them out loud to her.

I named them “Timothy” and “Rogan.”

I don’t know why, but I started to imagine the lives of these rats, and what adventures they would be on and came up with a concept. I picked up one of my lovely journals and started to scribble about their rats. Something really stupid but it reinvigorated my creative brain. Something so silly that I never intend to publish, gave me a healthy break from my project and didn’t make me feel I wasted my writing day. Also by writing something silly, I was having fun and it helped break away from the overwhelming feelings I had about my big project. Now I know that if I’m stuck or need a break, I have the Adventures of Timothy and Rogan to go back to.

So my advice from that day would be if you ever feel overwhelmed with a project and feel like you waste a writing day just sitting at your computer screen and not writing anything, write something silly! Write something for fun, to keep the creative juices flowing.

Architects or Gardeners?!

“I think there are two types of writers, the architects and the gardeners. The architects plan everything ahead of time, like an architect building a house. They know how many rooms are going to be in the house, what kind of roof they’re going to have, where the wires are going to run, what kind of plumbing there’s going to be. They have the whole thing designed and blueprinted out before they even nail the first board up. The gardeners dig a hole, drop in a seed and water it. They kind of know what seed it is, they know if planted a fantasy seed or mystery seed or whatever. But as the plant comes up and they water it, they don’t know how many branches it’s going to have, they find out as it grows. And I’m much more a gardener than an architect.” – George R.R. Martin

A very old quote and topic to discuss, but I find it very relevant. I found this quote best explains my years of struggling with writing (well one of them anyway). When it comes to writing, are you an architect or a gardener? Or as the Internet like to say. pantsers or painters? Do you like to plan out your projects to a tee? Build a world so extensive and make your story so ironclad or do you like to let a story grow? Without an outline or real concept as to where your story will take you, so you run with it. For me, I’m a proud gardener. Since I was in secondary school, the education system pushed us to be gardeners. When it came to exams, I always pantsed my stories. We are given a prompt last minute so I run with the idea until I finish. It usually worked for me and I did it for years.

Until last year.

I always pantsed short stories and to be honest, it works really well for that. But for my big novel project, I realized pantsing wasn’t an option. I couldn’t just let the story grow because I barely had any seeds to grow. It felt like it wasn’t going anywhere and the plot was too much not to plan out. So at the end of 2022, I started plotting my novel and it helped. It helped me sort out some plot points I couldn’t figure out before, and give me the confidence to finally start it this year. So I love to pants and I am still a gardener at heart, but the architect’s tool does work when needed. When it comes to writing, it doesn’t matter which one you are. I found it ridiculous that the writing community would argue over which is best. You are not better or worse if you follow a particular ideology of writing. If something works for you, go for it. Gardening works better for me most of the time when it comes to short story writing, but for novels, I need to build my world and sort out my plots more. So I think these methods can be used simultaneously and by everybody. They are not mutually exclusive or titles used to bully other writers. I saw a lot of people arguing this on the Internet and found it ridiculous. Write however you want to write and with the method you want to use. Write for yourself, for passion, and write to have fun.

I mean, that’s why we are all writers at the end of the day. We write because we love it. We write for fun and the passion of it. So semantics and distinctions with what type of writer you are, doesn’t really matter. It’s fun to discuss at the end of the day, and hey, you may learn something new from it. But write the way you want to write. That’s what makes us different and unique within the writing world. Hope ye are having a lovely day and I shall see ye in the next post.

The Delight of Graphic Novels

To begin my 2023 reading list, I read a few graphic novels, and to be honest, they bring me so much joy. Novels and short stories are my first love, but in recent months, I found new love with graphic novels and manga. If I want a quick and easy read, I’ll pick up a graphic novel. For the new year, I want to give myself more time to read some more. If ye have some recommendations for me, let me know what your favorite graphic novels are. Here are the graphic novels I started 2023 with:

Everything is Ok by Debbie Tuang

Everything Is OK is the story of Debbie Tung’s struggle with anxiety and her experience with depression. It’s a graphic memoir and I read it all in one sitting. Simple but beautiful portraits of her experiences with anxiety and depression. This book hit me right in the feels and made me feel seen. Debbie utilizes color in moments it was needed such as the break in her anxiety and the colorful moments in her life. I loved certain panels so much and related to them so much that I showed it to people I care it. I showed them that this was how I felt most days. So I thank Debbie Tuang for a great first read of 2023. A beautiful graphic novel, 5 out of 5 stars

The Boy, the mole, the fox, and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy

A sweet read after the deeply relatable Debbie Tuang’s Everything is Ok. I loved the beautiful paint-stroked drawings, and the aesthetic was remarkable. I never heard of this book, until they announced the BBC’s short film. Technically this book is more based on the movie adaptation, but it still left an impression on me. With my purchase, my copy of the book had a beautiful bookmark accompanying it. So Im happy with the purchase. It would be a gorgeous coffee table book for friends to pick it up and have a quick read. It rate it a 4 out of 5 stars.

The Demon in the Woods by Leigh Bardugo

I picked up this book solely for Shadow and Bone. I liked the first Leigh Bardugo book and I liked the Darkling character. I wanted to try my hand at more graphic novels so I picked it up. The art style did its job, had a couple of beautiful panels and it gave good insight into the Darlings story. It has fun and okay journey to be on, so I give this graphic novel a 3 out of 5 stars.

Truth time, I started reading graphic novels so I could add to my read list. I want to read 50 books by the end of 2023 and with my inability to read fast, this was a pretty good strategy. However, from just these few picks I’ve read, I love this new change in media I decided to read. They are faster but some of them resonate with me more than regular novels. I adore the certain art styles that the authors bring and the stories they tell through that medium. I tell stories through words, that’s my forte. However, I appreciate and love this form of storytelling and I can’t wait to see what other graphic novels I pick up this year. Hope you enjoyed this post and see you in the next one.

A Writer’s Resolution

Welcome back to my blog for the beginning of 2023. It has been a minute since I last posted. I’m happy to be back. I set up 2023 to be a better year. A year of removing bad habits and a year of writing.

At the beginning of December, I wrote myself some promises for the new year. I thought I was living my best life or at least trying to. I had the makings and beginnings of that, but my procrastination and my mind got in the way.

I feel a thing not talked about enough in the writing community is the fear of failure. I don’t mean the fear of never getting published because that fear permeates the community. An issue for me is, I have a fear of failure from submitting my work. I don’t submit my work because I always feel at the eleventh hour, that it isn’t good enough. So I don’t see the worth in sending it off, I spend days, and weeks on a project with the intent to submit it but end up never doing it.

This needs to stop. What is the point of wanting this life of writing if I don’t try my hand at submitting? Improve on my craft and hopefully one day someone would see it to print. So I made myself these promises for next year and to HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE this time. Here are my writer’s resolutions for 2023:

1. I will write and finish my book in 2023. The book I have been plotting and working on since 2019! I need this story out of my head and onto the page. And when I finish it, I will submit it to the Irish Novel Fair next year.
2. I will write every day, without fail. Even if it’s just an hour a day!
3. I will submit works, such as short stories and poems, every week to different publications. DO NOT PROCRASTINATE THIS!!!!
4. Document my novel writing journey. HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE. This will be through my blog, Twitter, Tiktok, and maybe other ventures.
5. 2023 – continue that creative journey that I started in 2022. Just don’t let your mind get in the way of that and don’t procrastinate.
6. Keep blogging. I fell off at the end of 2022, but I will get back onto it.

I have other personal promises to myself but these are the main ones. I felt I didn’t follow through with some of my writing hopes for 2022, so 2023 will be my year. I’m really going to try and push myself to do better. I want a life to write and be creative and happy. I feel like I haven’t given myself the tools to make life better for myself. So these are my writing resolutions for this year.

Telling a story – What is the Point?

A thought came into my head recently.

“Why do I write?”

My answer always was, because I love it. I want to make this my dream come true. A job I can live for and be passionate about. So I work at it. I write and I write and I write. Then I don’t write and feel bad for not writing (an everyday struggle for writers). But what is the passion that drives me towards this journey? Throughout the years, writing was a form of therapy. I never thought of the function of writing. Ultimately, you write to tell stories. Whether it be your own or someone else’s, pen meets paper and a story evolves from this act.

What story do I have to tell?

In the last couple of months, I lived in this existential crisis over my writing. I’m not talking about the fear of not making it or that I’ll waste my energy on a hobby that won’t give me financial gain. For me, my purpose for writing keeps me up at night. I work on the stories and the characters. I attempt to craft a style that suits me as an author. But I write these literary moments onto paper and I wonder, what is the point? What is the point of these characters? What am I trying to say with this story I am creating?

With these questions boiling in my head, I couldn’t write. I fear not being original enough but I also don’t care about being original. I imagine these stories in my head, but once they hit my computer screen, I wonder if they mean anything. What is the point of all of this?

Until recently, I remembered that there is no point. All that matters is what is on the page. I breathe life into these characters with each keystroke and like that famous image, they won’t stop talking until they are written down. My purpose for writing was for pleasure. However, with this existential dread, I remember the craftsmanship of it all. As writers, we craft stories that are either worth telling or just so we can silence our brains.

I have come to love the art of writing. I love to learn new techniques from fellow writers. They inspire me to try new things and make me love the medium more. With each new edit, I add something new to my style, and the fact that I have a style baffles me. I educate myself on the use of descriptions and imagery. What images do I want to be associated with my work? What themes do I want to touch upon? I struggle with character dialogue so I take my time with it and listen to new tips with each new edit. Editing remains the most arduous task of writing, but I’ve grown to fall in love with it. I shape my writing and craft it into this piece of art. The story doesn’t have to be new, but the way you write can be. Something as simple as a scene where it’s just two people talking in a greenhouse can limit you but also enhance your story in many ways that you never thought possibe. That is the beauty of writing. Learn and fine tune your craft. Dont get bogged down by your ultimate meaning in your work. As you write and edit, the central message or theme or the point will reveal itself.

I hope you enjoyed this post and I shall see ye all in the next one.

October TBR List

I am very excited for October. My birthday month and spooky month. I wanted to make a specific TBR list for the month of October, so to set a challenge for myself. Whenever I made TBR lists, I never followed them. I am a slow reader and a massive procrastinator. So I created a list for myself to read these books for the spooky season. My goal is to read all of these books. That might be wishful thinking, but I will try to read at least half of the books on this list. So lets get into it. What books did I select for my October TBR 2022?

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth

Synopsis: In the early 1900’s, Brookhants students Flo and Clara fell madly in love, brought together by their obsession for a scandalous memoir. A few months later, they were found dead in the woods, after a horrific wasp attack, the book lying next to their intertwined bodies.

Three more grisly deaths followed before the school was forced to close.

Now the school’s doors are open once more. But as the crew of glamorous young actresses assemble to start filming, past and present begin to blur. And soon it’s impossible to tell quite where the curse ends and Hollywood begins…

A gothic sapphic tale is what I really crave to read right now. I got a phyiscal copy of this book last year, but feared to pick it up. Its a very big book and as a slow reader, it will take up a lot of my time. One of my more ambitious choices to have this read by the end of October, I am skeptical I will get this finished. But this book fits perfectly into the Halloween aesthetic and very much a book of my taste. I guess well just have to wait and see.

Girl in the Well by Rin Chupeco

Synopsis: “I am where dead children go”.

She hunts murderers. Child killers, much like the man who threw her body down a well three hundred years ago.

And when a strange boy bearing stranger tattoos moves into the neighborhood so, she discovers, does something else. And soon both will be drawn into the world of eerie doll rituls and dark Shinto exorcisms that will take them from American suburbia to the remote valleys and shrines of Aomori, Japan.

Because the boy has a terrifying secret – one that would just kill to get out.

I needed to add an audiobook into my TBR list. I love listening to audiobooks on my drives so for my October TBR, I chose Girl in the Well. I started listening to this book and it has the perfect eerie and horror element in this story that fits perfectly with the Halloween season. I never finished, so I want to try and finish it now.

Uzumaki by Junji Ito

Synopsis: The series tells the story of the citizens of Kurōzu-cho, a fictional city which is plagued by a supernatural curse involving spirals. 

I’ve been reading this massive manga for a while and it was my first introduction to Junji Ito. It’s the perfect horror read for this October. I can’t wait to finish it and see what’s in store.

A Dowry of Blood by S. T. Gibson

Synopsis:

A lyrical and dreamy reimagining of Dracula’s brides, A Dowry of Blood is a story of desire, obsession, and emancipation.

Saved from the brink of death by a mysterious stranger, Constanta is transformed from a medieval peasant into a bride fit for an undying king. But when Dracula draws a cunning aristocrat and a starving artist into his web of passion and deceit, Constanta realizes that her beloved is capable of terrible things. Finding comfort in the arms of her rival consorts, she begins to unravel their husband’s dark secrets.With the lives of everyone she loves on the line, Constanta will have to choose between her own freedom and her love for her husband. But bonds forged by blood can only be broken by death.

With the lives of everyone she loves on the line, Constanta will have to choose between her own freedom and her love for her husband. But bonds forged by blood can only be broken by death.

I heard about this book through Booktube last year. A couple of people read it and said it was one of the most well written books they’ve ever read. So immediately, I ordered my own copy. I still have yet to read it. It features vampires, blood, sex and a bisexual main character. Sign me up please. I’m most excited to read this book this month. Can’t wait to pick it up.

The Ex Hex by Erin Sterling

Synopsis:

A small-town witch is forced to make magic with the man who broke her heart when his return sets a series of supernatural disasters in motion. Nine years ago, Vivienne Jones decided to get over the boy who’d dumped her in the only way she knew how: by putting a curse on him.

Someone described the feeling when they read this book was the same feeling they got from watching Hocus Pocus. Some good ol’ warm, spooky and mystical fun. The perfect read for Halloween 🎃 I’ve had this on to read list for so long but it feels perfect for October.

Possible read:

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

Synopsis: The Night Circus tells the story of the rivalry between two different forms of magic—the old and the new—and the competition and love affair between two young magicians who are destined to face each other in a magical duel to the death.

I place this under a possible read. I’ve been wanting to read this book for a long time and on a lot of October recommendation lists, they have this book there. Apparently, it gives off a cozy and fantastical feel for October. So this is a maybe for me. But if I don’t read it for October, I’ll read it next month.

That brings an end to my TBR list for this spooky season. I’m so excited to start reading these books. I am in the reading mood but I wont shame myself if I don’t read them all. If I can get two or three read, I’ll be happy. So we shall see what this spooky season has to offer. Bring on the October feels 🎃