Things that make me happy

I felt like doing a more personal blog post. I havent done too many personal posts on my blog, besides my poems. So I wanted to just write about the things in life that make me happy. I got the idea from Emma Blackery’s video “Things that make me happy.” Here is a link to it:

I thought it was a really nice blog idea so here it goes. The things that make me happy would be:

Tea

Image result for tea

First things first, I must talk about the love of my life: Tea. Very Irish, I know. But it is true. I adore a cup of tea in the mornings, before I start my day. Tea is my vice and a necessity. Coffee keeps other people awake, whereas I drink tea to stay awake. I know, there is not much caffeine in tea, but it still keeps me awake. It makes me happy and I cant imagine my life without it.

Writing/Reading

Image result for books

This is an obvious one, but I love reading and writing. I place them in the same category, as you cant write without reading. Reading was what got me into writing, and if it wasn’t for books, I wouldn’t be writing today. I wouldn’t be writing a novel, and I wouldn’t have started this blog.

Kingdom Hearts 
Related image

I think I might have mentioned this in a previous blog post, but Kingdom Hearts is my favourite game series of all time. Kingdom Heart 2 is my favourite game of all time. Its just…so good. I played the first game, when I was 11 years old. I had no interest in playing it, when I got it for Christmas that year. I didn’t like the cover of the game and it didn’t look cool. But I was bored and decided to play it. Im so happy I did. It was a convoluted but enthralling story. The characters are fantastic, and it has childhood nostalgia through the appearance of Disney characters in the games. However, it is not just a kids game. The story is so dark, so deep and sad, that itll leave you heart-broken towards the end. Kingdom Heart 2 is my favourite game, because of its darker storylines, such as the games intro. Playing these games brighten up my day, no matter what age I am. Now, Kingdom Hearts 3 is releasing soon, and Im so excited. Cant wait for the next instalment.

Dogs
Image result for husky

Always been a dog lover. Always will. I have grown up with dogs. They are so loyal, so kind and loving. How can you not love dogs? My favourite type of dog is a husky. Currently, I have a dog that is a cross between a Labrador and a husky, so my love for huskies is because of him. His name is Casper and my other dog is a cocker spaniel, named Milo. I love them to bits. I hope to get my own dog, when I live out on my own. Ill get my own husky, raise him and love him everyday. Cant wait for that.

Halloween

Image result for halloween

Halloween is my favourite holiday. Christmas is amazing too, but I have a soft spot for Halloween. I dont trick or treat anymore, but I celebrate Halloween in my own way. I find the holiday a very comfortable day, but spooky at the same time. Last year, I watched the remake of the Evil Dead for Halloween. It was great. I have fond memories of Halloween, such as watching Monster House with my dad, going to school parties dressed as a witch and playing dunking for the apple. Its a fun holiday and Im delighted when it comes around every year.

Hot Chocolate (when done right)

In recent years, I started to love hot chocolate. However, I am still very picky on where I get my beverage. When I was a child, my mother used to make hot chocolate from the Cadburys chocolate powder or Aero chocolate powder. That made me hate hot chocolate for a while. But since going to Stanzas and other poetry readings, I get a cup at the cafés where the events are held. Some were good and some were bad. My favourite hot chocolates are from the cafes in Limerick, called Hook & Ladder and Insomnia. Just add whipped cream and a sprinkle of chocolate or a flake to dip with and I’m happy for the rest of the day.

Watching indie/any movies

Image result for the lord of the ringsImage result for clouds of sils maria

I love watching films. That was my thing, before reading took over. I wanted to become a film director. Thats how much I loved films. Just the feeling you get when you curl up on the couch and watch an amazing movie, is just so nice. Recently, I started watching more indie movies, instead of just blockbuster films. I love them, as they look more deeply into humanity, than blockbuster movies would. A good example would be Clouds of Sils Maria. This film focuses on an older actress played by Juliette Binoche, who is asked to act in a remake of a play she did when she was a young actress. This time, she is to play the older character in the story, while a new young actress plays her original role. The film explores the feeling of time passing, the differences in creative opinions and how that can destroy a relationship. This film got me into watching more artsy, indie films, as I was interested in films that creatively look at human life and human emotions, films that dive into deeper topics and give a real look at the issues of humanity. They are fascinating to watch and I may do a list down the line of indie films I recommend you watch.

Stanzas

Image result for stanzas limerick

I have said this so many times, but ill say it again. I love Stanzas. It was the place that made me more confident in sharing my writing. It is such a welcoming place, for so many young writers. And even if youre not going to perform, it is just a nice place to chill, have a cup of tea and chat to new people. I made so many friends at Stanzas and I’m so grateful for what this event has done for me. I still go today and I dont see myself stopping anytime soon.

My family and my friends

And of course, the last thing that makes me happy is my family and friends. I have been through a lot these past 20 odd years, and I have to thank my family for being there for me throughout it all. I’m proud to say that I have amazing parents and supportive sisters, who I wouldn’t trade for anything. I love them to the moon and back. Always.

As for my friends, I havent had much luck with friends. People are very fickle and selfish beings, as I’ve come to understand these past few years. But I have a select few, who I trust immensely and I’m very lucky to have them. They have to put up with a lot of my crap, so I’m very thankful to them for that.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post. Let me know what makes you happy in the comments. Id love to know. I shall talk to you in the next post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Why I Started Writing

When I started planning more blog posts, I realized I never talked about the beginning of my writing journey. You have to start somewhere 😂

My first memory of writing, was when I was eleven. I wrote a fanfiction based off my favourite game series, Kingdom Hearts. It was SO BAD!!! I tried to pretend that the whole novel idea wasn’t a carbon copy of my favourite stories. The character’s names were altered slightly from the main characters in Kingdom Hearts but it was obvious that they were still those characters. Instead of meeting Disney characters, my characters met Harry Potter characters. I cringe inside, just thinking about it. I learned then, I should create my own stories (mainly because my parents told my eleven year old self, that you would be caught for plagiarizing with my Kingdom Hearts based fanfiction).

 

Image result for kingdom hearts

However, I learned from that first fanfiction. My parents claim I started writing even earlier than eleven years old. Thats impressive.

But I seriously started writing my own novels when I was thirteen. I remember that age because it was when I was a huge fan of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight books and I started my own vampire series (dont judge me!!)

But I actually feel like the story could have been interesting but I stopped writing, when I started despising the direction of my main character.

I planned and wrote many mini novels, as I didn’t know how to plot a real novel. I wrote them into my school copies which would have been around 150 pages in each. It was wonderful to have that avenue to escape. I found joy in my writing at that age.

I could make up brand new characters and place them in worlds I never dreamed of. It was wonderful, until other people got involved. My writing became a reason for people to play around and manipulate. Its really hard to explain, and I may talk about someday. But after a while, I had to hide my writing hobby from everyone. I wrote in private.

But, I hated that. I did love the privacy but I wanted people to read my stories. I wanted feedback on my work. So I set up my own Wattpad account. I know!!!

Image result for wattpad

I’m not going to tell you the name of my Wattpad account because it is too embarrassing. I dont want you to see that. However, Wattpad gave me an opportunity to share my stories with others. Also, I met many other people who shared my passion for writing. Some wrote short stories, others wrote poetry. Everything was at my disposal on Wattpad.

It was the only place where I felt I belonged. I was accepted as a writer on this website. I followed and read so many stories, that helped with my writing. (I may actually make a blog post about my favourite stories I read on Wattpad).

However, when I entered college, I found a new home for my writing: Stanzas.

Image result for stanzas limerick

I have talked about Stanzas in previous blog posts. It holds amazing events for writers of all ages, to come and perform. This became my new home where I met so many other writers my age and I didn’t feel alone when it came to my writing. I made lifelong friends from Stanzas and they helped develop my writing skills. Since then, I’ve gotten a couple of my works published in Stanzas chapbooks.

Since then, I have kept writing in doses. Attending an English course in college, I never found the time to write. My blog helped with that.

 

Writersblockwhat gave me further practice, outside of college.

With my blog, I am attempting to further my writing career. Along with that, I am sending my works out to different publications. I am trying to better myself in my writing and hopefully, make a career out of it someday. It may be wishful thinking, but I’m going to try.

Thats where I stand, at this present time. I hope to see you in the next blog. Talk to you later x

 

Just Thinking (Update)

Things are looking up.

 

I got excellent results in my college exams and that means I get to do my masters in September. Also, I recently got a job so I am feeling much better after my last blog post. Everything seems to be going well. However, I feel stuck. I am being told I need to go down one path for my career. You need to get a “real career” in order to have a great life. Start a family, get a home and then pursue your dreams. What does that even mean? Get a “real career”?! Does it mean for me to become a lawyer or a teacher? To follow the status quo and get a job just for the sake of security or what society deems a “real career.”

I want to have a career that is creatively stimulating. I just dont want to be stuck in a job that I dont want. And I feel like my plans for the future are going down that route. I watched the film, Still Alice and this scene resonated with me:

 

Recently, I feel like people are telling me what I should do with my life and a lot of their advice makes me feel nauseous. These future plans that are not my own. I just want to get out, get my own place, live my own life, instead of being told what to do.

One of my new years resolutions for 2018 is to send my work out and get published in magazines. I want to try and get published, establish myself in someway as a writer. That is my dream. I want to work as a full-time author which is an undesirable job. “You wont make money out of that”, “What if you are not good enough?”

Well I want to try. My journey is starting this year. As I work on the most important novel I have ever worked on, I am going to start sending out my work everywhere. I cant have this mentality that this wont work out if I dont, at least, try.

Thats what has been happening with me. I hope you are all doing well. It has been a bit of time since I last posted. The review took up too much time, so I decided to just post this. Let you know what has been happening with me. I shall have the review up in a few days. Thanks for being here. I appreciate it. Talk to you next time.

This is all we know

“You are disgusting,”

“You are vile,”

“Why don’t you just disappear?”

“Why don’t you just die?”

This is all we know.

Words so meaningless,

But escaping from the lips,

of you.

This is all we know.

Spitting out of spite,

Colours drained from,

Each other’s eyes.

“Kill yourself,”

“Just die.”

This is all we know.

War is seasoned,

Armies forged,

But battles ceased.

This is all we know.

Declaration of praise,

“You are the best,”

“You are amazing,”

“Don’t leave me,”

“I love you,”

(This is not what we know).

Take me back,

To the war,

To the backseat of your carriage,

Where words are so meaningless,

“You are not nothing.”

This is not what we know.

 

This is the first poem I have posted in a while. I cant remember when I wrote this. I associate this poem with a relationship so toxic. Words become punches and stabs. You no longer feel like yourself and those stabs just become normal. And when words of comfort come your way, you cant deal with it. You don’t believe them because all you have heard are the words, “kill yourself,” “you are not worth it.” Truth be told, I have these words replay in my mind all the time. Feeling of doubt, fear and mistrust. I have so many people in my life that I know I can trust, but there is always a part of me that is like, “There are no good people in this world” or “you are on your own.” I know I am in a ramble today but I don’t know. I just want you to know that you are not worthless or you don’t mean anything to anyone. I know that may sound cliché or derivative but its true. You mean a lot to someone and they will miss you when you are gone. I may need reminding all the time that I have people that care about me but I do know that I’m not always alone. When I need someone, I have someone who is there for me. I just wanted to post this poem because I just wanted you to know that you are worth it. You are not a nobody.

This post has been a bit all over the place. I hope you are having a great day and Ill talk to you in the next post x

Poets in Music #1

Hey guys! I got a new series for you here. I found that music is a huge inspiration for my writing, the beat of music, the voices behind the song but most importantly, the lyrics. It is the lyrics that draw me into a song. They have to mean something to me for me to love it. And truthfully, musician’s songs are just like poetry, except their words must follow some sort of beat. They need a melody. But they are just like any other poet. I may not sing on a stage like them but we both have something in common; creation through words. So I have decided to start this series called “Poets in Music”. In each instalment, I will talk about a musician or musicians, either a solo artist or a band and talk about their beautiful lyrics. I will be mentioning several of my favourite artists, the ones who inspire my writing. However, I would love any other suggestions you guys have. If you can think of any great artists that write their own lyrics that inspire you and you want me to do a post on them, send me a comment. Okay, let’s start.

I am starting with an indie rock band called Bastille. They are a British band that consist of four members; Dan Smith, Chris ‘Woody’ Wood, Kyle Simmons and Will Farquarson. This band has a new and unique sound to it. Each member plays a number of different instruments and each of them has different roles to play for every song. With the use of synethisers in their music, it allows them to stand out. But what attracted me to them were their lyrics. Majority of their songs are written by the lead vocalist, Dan Smith. Their songs such as Bad Blood and Get Home, have a certain realism to them. Dan is talking about moments in his life where he experienced hardship and happiness. He puts that in each of his song lyrics. They make them very relatable and they draw you in, so you can hear more.

 

Bastille – Bad Blood

 

Another thing I found interesting thing about Dan’s songs was their tie with mythology and history. In their album, Bad Blood, they have two songs named Pompeii and Icarus. The song Pompeii obviously ties in with the historical event when the volcano, Mount Vesuvius erupted and covered the city of Pompeii under volcanic ash. He does place several images of that historical event in the song with lyrics such as “walls kept tumbling down in the city of love” and “great clouds over the hills bringing darkness from above”. However, the song isn’t really about the eruption. It is just a metaphor for life itself. He ties history in with his own experiences through his music.

 

 

Bastille – Pompeii

 

He even wrote a song that related to the trials and excitement of being a writer in his song, Poet. He discusses how through his writing, these moments, these people and words will live on in the pages he scribes.

Bastille – Poet

 

Their lyrics are authentic, their sound is authentic. None of it felt over produced. For me, I came for the lyrics. These guys inspired several of my short stories and poems. My sister introduced me to them and we went to several of their concerts. Bastille has some of my favourite song lyrics in some of my favourite songs. This year, they have a new album coming out. I can’t wait to hearing more of their music.

That’s all for this post. I will be posting again very soon. Hope you enjoyed this post and I hope you all having a great day! See you

Cold

Hi. Sorry, I have been gone for a while. I have been doing exams and I havent been inspired lately. To be stuck in a runt that you cant get out of is tough and a pain in the ass. Its normal for a writer. Some days, you have no inspiration. This poem I wrote a while ago. I didnt know if I was going to post it or not. But here it is. I dedicate this poem to the people who have inner turmoils that they dont want to talk about. Please, dont be silent about your problems. That does more harm then good. Tell someone. Believe me, you will feel much better for it.

 

God has his priests and his kings,

He waits for you.

He waits for you to enter

His gates,

And to be with him.

Be filled with warmth,

To be happy.

All you need to do is let go.

A small incision,

Cold poison leaves your veins

And memories fade away.

Happy faces pass through your mind,

Forgettable faces.

Who was that I met on the bus today?

Who was that I met at that poetry reading?

Why do I keep remembering your deep blue eyes?

Or brown eyes?

Or green?

Then your face appears,

Deformed and

Filled with pits of darkness in your eyes.

“There is only you”

“And you are nothing”, the face speaks

With demonic sounds,

And wields a knife in their hand.

Just one action and it will be over.

I am human,

And no one cares.

I am me,

And no one cares.

The only place on Earth

Where anyone can truly be one,

Can truly care for each other,

Is in Heaven.

God has his priests and his kings.

He has waited for you.

“Welcome, my child” he speaks

As he crowns you in laurel leaves,

You are now his king.

Emotional Block

Strange! For once, my writing isn’t helping me. Let me explain. Recently, I have been having a lot personal problems lately. And I could always turn to my pen and paper and that writing will let it go away. That my feelings will escape from my heart and onto a piece of paper. The burden is gone. I have let my feelings out. I don’t have to keep it bottled up. But not this time. Recently, I was feeling down and I ended writing my first prose in months. After writing, I didn’t down anymore. I actually felt nothing! Just a numbness. All I wanted to do was curl up in bed and watch a movie with hot chocolate. This has never happened to me before. I could always rely on my writing to get me out of a funk. I guess this time I am having more of an emotional block, than writers block. I rely a lot on my emotions for my writing. I guess I am feeling too much to even process what I am writing! Honestly, I don’t know. I just found it strange.

Anyway, hope ye are having a great weekend. Sorry, I haven’t been updating recently but ill try and get another post up soon enough. Until then, have a great week.

Medals of Honour

I wouldn’t say this is my best poem but I’m proud of it at the same time! I dedicate this poem to those people who believe that their problems or struggles are not big enough to tell anyone or to the ones that just don’t have anyone in their lives that listens/understands these problems! Enjoy and see ye in the next post.

 

Deemed with tokens of war,

For all the battles I have faced.

Given such rewards is an honour.

I should be proud of these

But I am not!

They symbolise my battles,

But battles I have not won.

They just cover up my mistakes,

My failures

And my scars.

I am no war hero.

I was just a pawn that came out

The other end.

True heroes come across my path,

They deserve such tokens I was given

For their bravery and sacrifices.

I’m ashamed to tell my war stories.

I am not worthy enough to tell

Such stories.

My scars, misunderstood and

Deemed minuscule.

But I’d gladly take away the pain

Of these heroes

So that they can breathe again

And fight another day.

Click

Updating a new poem. I wouldn’t consider this one of my best but I got inspired by the last theme from Stanzas: the Internet. The Internet is very vast and constantly expanding. It is also filled with many dangers. I have a few friends in my life that experienced cyber bullying or the Internet changed their way of thinking. So I wrote this poem with that idea in mind. Enjoy and be safe on the Internet.

 

Life begins on a computer screen,

The internet allows for

Numerous possibilities.

Click,

A new browser appears.

Click,

A new profile is produced.

A window for me to place new photos,

Statues on a wall,

And add new people into my life!

Life is simpler on a computer screen.

Friends can be sorted into categories:

Best, close, acquaintances and non-existent

Click,

I just unfriended you.

So simple.

Click,

Get numerous likes on statuses and pictures

That presents a new identity.

Certain pictures get me likes,

Certain statuses get me noticed.

More likes lead to a boosted ego

And an alternate life.

Click,

Send revealing pictures.

Click,

Blocking all friends,

Till there is nothing left.

Click,

Life is now empty.

Mistakes building and never disappear.

The internet, a once free source,

Spreads these misgivings and lies,

Like a virus.

Click,

Life destroyed.

Friends list gone,

Statuses are fewer,

Profile is non-existent.

Computer screen smashed,

Soul shattered.

And the remaining pieces manifest,

Mould into a beast,

Cold and non-forgiving.

A creature of the internet’s own creation!

The Anomaly

New poem updated 🙂 Enjoy

You caused no major disruptions,

Kept to yourself.

Until you started to open up,

Let the demons haunting you out,

Trusting others with your thoughts

And undefined emotions.

You were a strange creature,

I felt you were misunderstood!

Unique!

You called yourself an “anomaly”.

That’s one way of putting it.

You were invisible in people’s sights,

But once we saw you, you became

Monstrous!!

Your unique gazes turned manic

It led to your desire for payback!

I bit back with a vengeance,

But I could barely form a sentence!

I froze and lost the battle

Against a modern day Hitler!

I was left with the memories

Of our interactions,

Of the moments of clarity,

Of purity.

And knowing that they were the lies

That led to my breakdown.