Productivity during Lockdown

I hope you are doing well during this difficult time. In Ireland, we are almost hitting a month into our lockdown. Its weird, watching videos of my city being a ghost town. I miss the trips into town to see my friends. I miss the chill pints had, at my favourite spot. I miss the chats and being in the same room with my friends. We still have the ability to stay in contact with the people we love. Thats what is so amazing about the internet. But you really do take for granted the physical connection. I miss being in the same room as my friends. I cant wait to give them massive hugs when this is all over.

 

Throughout lockdown, I have spent most of my time on Twitter and Instagram. With social media being a massive way to connect, the world has jumped into it. A common discussion on Twitter is productivity during lockdown. People set goals out for themselves throughout their lockdown. Mostly people do this to keep themselves busy during the stressful times. Goals that I have seen, include: pick up a new hobby, read all the books you procrastinated reading and my personal favourite, write that novel you’ve always wanted to write. At first, I liked this idea. A community of people on the internet encouraging you to be creative in this difficult time. Dont focus on the bad. Be creative during this shitty time. And who knows, you may write your magnum opus through all of this. I loved that energy. It got me into working more on my planned projects. I was ready to start reading and writing again.

 

However, it took a stressful turn for me. I started to see a toxic side to this productivity. A lot of people encouraged each other. They pushed each other to create. One of my friends was on a roll with her work. She wrote more of her planned novella and started a few songs. It was incredible to see that. I felt inspired to write. However, I didn’t work as much as I had hoped. I tried to force myself to write. Ive done it before, where I did write more and got out of my funk. I felt like I was forcing myself to be productive because everyone else was doing it. I felt really down about that. For the first time in a while, I am free to create the work I have always wanted to do. I am not working anymore and I spend majority time at home. I have all the time in the world to do my projects. But there was that nagging thought in my head, to sit down and get it done.

“What are you doing?” Why aren’t you writing that new poem? Turn off the game and start working?”

With those thoughts in your head, you start to hate your work. You aren’t creating from inspiration. Youre just forcing yourself to create. Also, my mental health hasn’t been great the past year. Writing does help, but sometimes writing takes a lot out of me, when i am not in the right mental space. My procrastination and the lockdown didn’t help it either. Then social media made that worse. The encouragement turned to criticism. I saw so many people attack each other for how they are spending their time in lockdown. It almost became a rule, that everyone must do something throughout lockdown. You must pick up a new hobby. You must read more. You must start and finish your defining work. Not everyone is like this, but there is that side of the internet. People picking apart your productivity. I wanted to start up my blog again and fix the format of it. I wanted to read more and write more. But I just couldn’t at the beginning. I was excited to do it, but I wasn’t in a good place to actually do anything.

Instead, I took the time to look after myself. I started taking priority over my self-care. I looked out for my mental health. I reduced communication with friends at the beginning, until I felt comfortable with reaching out. I chilled in my house by watching some new anime or Netflix documentaries (loved the Tiger King). When I felt anxious or down, I reduced my use of social media during the day. Some days, I switch off my Wifi as an opportunity to relax. As I felt better, I started to write again. I write when I feel inspired. My novella is coming along slowly. At first, I hated how slow my progress was going. Now, I learned to appreciate that slow time to marinate over the story. I am working on my characters and the story has come organically from those character sheets. I dont feel pressure to write this book by a set deadline. I did put myself through a deadline originally, but my mental health had other plans. Ive just decided to go with the flow, write my novella when I feel like it. Be creative and productive when I want to be.

 

Just because your productivity doesn’t match someone elses, that doesn’t make you lazy or less than them. Even though I havent done a lot of work during lockdown, I feel so much happier. My mental health has improved in this last month than the past year. Im not 100% happy. I still have my bad days like everyone else. But I did give that time for myself to heal in some way. That has been a positive for me in lockdown. You shouldn’t feel shame for wanting to be with yourself for a while. You shouldn’t feel bad for not starting that project. Everyone works at their own pace. During this pandemic, you are not obligated to do anything during self-isolation. Pick up a book, dont pick up a book. Start your project, dont start your project. Do whatever you want. Do whatever makes you happy and dont have anyone tell you differently. Online encouragement can be great, but sometimes it takes a dark turn. Make your mental health and comfort level a priority.

Sorry about that little rant. I just felt like discussing this idea that you need to be productive in lockdown. We are in a pandemic and some people dont feel like doing anything. Thats why I think its amazing seeing people on social media promote self-care and mental health care. We are in a scary time in history and we need to look out for each other. Look out for yourself. You cant be there for the people you love, if you aren’t there for yourself. And dont shame people for their productivity during self-isolation.

Hope you are all staying safe and indoors. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I shall see ye in the next post.

Irish Tales: Oisín and Tír na nÓg

Inspired by my previous posts, I wanted to try my hand at retelling the classic Irish fairytales I grew up with. We knew these stories so well, and it has been great to look back on them. By looking into these fairytales, I started to realize how vast Irish mythology is and how these stories only scrape the surface of our legends. I may make a post about Irish mythology down the line. But today, I shall be telling the story of Oisín and Tír na nÓg. Just as a preface for this story, the Fianna were a band of semi-independent warriors in Irish mythology. Tír na nÓg is known as The Land of the Young, and another way to name the Celtic Underworld. My retelling of this tale is taken from a children’s book I read years ago. So this will be told in a different way to other versions. So enjoy this retelling of “Oisín and Tír na nÓg.”

 

One morning, the Fianna were out hunting deer on the shores of Loch Lein in County Kerry. They saw a beautiful white horse coming towards them. Riding on the horse was the most beautiful woman they have ever seen. She wore a long blue dress, blue as the summer sky, studded with silver stars, and her long golden hair went down to her waist. 

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“What is your name and what land do you come from?” asked Fionn, leader of the Fianna. 

“I am Niamh Chinn Óir (Niamh of the Golden hair). My father is the king of Tír na nÓg” she replied. “I have heard of a warrior called Oisín. I have heard of his courage and of his poetry. I have come to find him, and take him back with me, to Tír na nÓg.” 

Oisín was the son of Fionn. He was a great leader and a poet. “Tell me,” Oisín said. “What sort of land is Tír na nÓg?”

“Tír na nÓg is the land of youth,” replied Niamh. “It is a happy place, with no pain and no sorrow. Any wish you make comes true, and no one grows old there. If you come with me, youll find out all of this is true.”

Oisín mounted the white horse, and said goodbye to his father and friends. He promised he would return soon. The horse galloped over the water, moving as swiftly as a shadow. The Fianna were sad to see Oisín go, but Fionn reminded them of his promise to return soon. 

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The King and Queen of Tír na nÓg welcomed Oisín, and held a great feast in his honour. It was indeed a wonderful land, just as Niamh had said. In Tír na nÓg, the trees were in constant bloom and the leaves never fall or die. All the people who lived in Tír na nÓg, were young and beautiful. They hunted and feasted, and at night, he told stories of Fionn and the Fianna, and their lives in Ireland. But he never felt as happy as he did, when he was with Niamh. And before long, they were married, and had two children, Oscar and their daughter, Plor na mBan (Flower of Women). Time passed quickly, and although he was very happy, Oisín began to think of returning home for a visit. Niamh didn’t want him to go. But at last, she said, “Take my white horse. It will carry you safely to Ireland and back. Whatever happens, you must not get off the horse, and touch the soil of Ireland. If you do, you will never return to me, and to Tír na nÓg.” She didn’t tell him that, although he had only been away for a few years, he had really been there for 300 hundred years.

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Ireland seemed like a strange place when Oisín arrived back. There seemed to be no trace of his father or the rest of the Fianna. As he passed through Gleann na Smól, he saw some men trying to move a large stone. “I will help you,” said Oisín. The men were terrified of this giant on a white horse. Stooping from his saddle, Oisín lifted the stone with one hand and hurled it. With that, the saddle strap broke, and Oisín was flung to the ground. Immediately, the white horse disappeared, and the men saw before them, an old, old man. They took him to a holy man, who lived nearby. Some say that the holy man was Saint Patrick. 

“Where is my father and the Fianna?” Oisín asked. When he was told they were long dead, he was heartbroken. He spoke of the many deeds of Fionn and the Fianna, and their many adventures together. He spoke of his time in Tír na nÓg, and his beautiful wife that he would never see again. 

Although he died soon after, the wonderful stories of Oisín have lived on. To this day, children in Ireland still retell the story of Oisín, and his magical adventures in Tír na nÓg. Some people claimed to have seen the beautiful white horse through the early mists of the dawn, only to disappear before their eyes, when the mist clears. 

 

Hope you enjoyed it. I have so many more tales I plan to share on my blog. Thats all I have for this post and I shall see you in the next one x

 

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Irish Writers – We are depressing 💚

In my Masters course, I got the chance to take a class analysing Irish literature. Throughout my college career, I never really looked into Irish literature. For my final year project, I did analyse Irish Gothic texts. But I haven’t looked into contemporary Irish novels.

So the class I took, Gender and Sexuality in Irish literature, analysed a couple of contemporary Irish texts and new woman fiction etc. It was fascinating, to look more into the literature from my country.

But one thing I picked up on, was a conversation I had with an American student. He attends the creative writing masters in my college. One day, he comes into class and talks about the style of Irish writers.

“You Irish people write some depressing s**t. Why does everything have to be sad in your stories”

I had to laugh at this comment, because it reminds me of the tagline for my blog. “I am a happy person but a depressing writer.” From the little interaction I had with Irish literature, it’s true that we have a flair for the tragedies. We place our characters into dark situations with no way out. I just read a novel about a woman who killed her abusive, alcoholic husband and the novel follows the unsettling relationship between her and her son, as they live together in Dublin city. The continuous silence between mother and son speaks volumes to what it means to be Irish. We don’t talk about our feelings. We mostly bottle them up and if we do talk about them, we make a laugh out of it. For the mother and son, they never acknowledge the past horrors at home and maintain this hidden truth, that can never be spoken out loud.

One of my classmates responded to the guys comment, “that’s because we were colonised.”

Ireland has a dark history related to our colonialization by the British Empire. However, that doesn’t really plague our country as much anymore. The darkness within our country at the moment, would be the control of the Catholic Church, the uproar over sexual harassment and assault towards women.

We have our dark moments that seemed unbearable to relive, such as the Magdalene laundries, the sexual abuse of children from members of the church, and many more. Therefore, these dark memories of our country in some shape or form within our writing. They seep into every Irish work, as it would within any work. However, I have come to appreciate this style of writing, as through all these trials and tragedies, the Irish maintain their dry sense of humour.

Through the dark times, the Irish remain humorous. And it’s evident within Irish writers work. So yes, we are depressing. But we use self deprecating humour to push that aside or bring attention to it. This shows who we are as a culture, and I’m proud to call myself Irish.

Some Irish books I recommend you check out would be The Long Falling by Keith Ridgway, Normal People by Sally Rooney. I am currently reading a book called The Pleasures of Eliza Lynch by Anne Enright. It tells the story of a real Cork woman who was a well known prostitute who became mistress to a prince. Eliza Lynch became merely a footnote in history, so Anne Enright  decided to write about her.

This post seems a bit all over the place but I just wanted to talk about that comment from the American student. I’m proud of our self deprecating attitude towards life and our history. There is a great charm to Irish works because of that. I want to read more Irish novels and if I find any good ones, I’m sure I’ll make a post about it. And if you have any works from your country that I might like, let me know. I hope you had a lovely end to 2018 and happy New year 💜 I shall talk to you in the next post.

 

 

Irish books from my childhood

Recently, my sister and I were trying to remember classic novels we read in primary school. Most of them, were classic Irish books written by Irish writers. I dont think I have ever talked about Irish books on my blog before. I think I need to change that. I have another idea for a blog post related to Irish books or Irish writing, which Ill post in the next week or so. But for now, lets delve into my childhood and look at some Irish books that I read when I was young.

 

Drumshee Chronicles by Cora Harrison (Titanic and Murder Strikes Back)

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I remember these vividly. It was a series of books, written by Cora Harrison, which are historical novels for children which tell the history of Ireland through two millennia. These stories talk about the Celts, monks, Vikings and the Normans, the 1798 revolution, the Great Famine etc. My favourite books from the series, or the ones I remember most, are Murder Strikes Back and Titanic Voyage.

Titanic Voyage Synopsis:  Kitty loves everything about the magnificent Titanic – its splendour, wearing her beautiful gold necklace at the ceilis, meeting other passengers, including handsome John. She began to get quite fond of the two children in her care, Robert and Tabitha. She did not even once think of her grandmother’s words as she left Drumshee:
‘That necklace must never leave Drumshee, or bad luck will follow.”

And then disaster strikes. As the Titanic starts to sink and the terrified passengers begin to panic, Kitty realises that Robert and Tabitha are missing.

Murder Strikes Back: In fifth century Ireland, Christianity was new and strange, and Cetterick, the priest, had been cruel and arrogant and had made many enemies.
But which one of those enemies hated him enough to kill him?
Was it the unfortunate slave boy?
The jealous druid?
The goldsmith in fear for his life?
The wife whom Cetterick had abandoned?
The farmer cheated of his land?
And what about the beautiful Mara? What was she doing outside the chapel?
Once again murder strikes at Drumshee, and once again Ita and her fellow students at Drumshee law school set out to solve the mystery.

The novels provide interesting history lessons of Ireland’s past through fictional stories. If you are interested in Irish history, maybe try out these books. I might do a review on them down the line. I havent read them since I was a child so I want to see if they hold up today.

 

When the Sea Calls by Don Conroy
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Synopsis: Sinéad Keane is a lonely young girl growing up in the west of Ireland in the early 1900s. Her mother died tragically in a drowning accident seventeen years earlier. She was pregnant with Sinéad at the time. Whenever Sinéad enquires about the tragic event no one is willing to talk to her about it, least of all her father.

Who is the mysterious stranger from England? Will Sinéad’s friend Danny survive the war that’s raging in Europe? Why does the sea have such a pull on Sinéad’s emotions and feelings?

I am unsure whether I read this or not. I know my sister loved this book when we were young. She talked to me about all of the time. A very haunting story, and ties with Irish mythology really well. So if wanted to know a little more on the myths of Ireland, check out this book.

 

Fallen Star by Joan O’ Neill

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Synopsis: In 1950s Ireland, Sixteen year old Stella’s innocent childhood is shattered when charismatic Charlie comes into her life. Where Stella’s family struggle to make ends meet, Charlie can have anything he wants, and that includes Stella, who is rapidly falling for him. Then Stella discovers she is pregnant. Suddenly Charlie is gone, and Stella is left with only the bracelet he gave her. Stella’s devoutly religious mother, horrifed by the scandal, sends her errant daughter to a Magdalene Laundry convent, miles from home, where in return for daily and rigorous and endless chores, Stella will be able to have her baby in secret. The convent is bleak and austere, the nuns themselves cruel and lacking compassion. When Stella’s baby girl is born, it will be taken from her for adoption, the only answer is to run away with her child. But Stella didn’t expect the struggle and pain of being a single mother – with her family turning against her, who can she rely on for help. Out of the blue, comes support and love from an unexpected quarter, to finally make Stella’s story a happy one. 

This is more of a young adult novel, but I remember it vividly from my childhood. This is a lot darker than the other books, as this takes a leaf out of our history. As you may not know, Ireland had Magdalene Laundries around the country for years. Their purpose was to take “fallen” women into their convents and subject them to hard labour, to repent their sins. These women would be deemed too promiscuous and tainted to live in society. Mostly, they were women who got pregnant out of wedlock, which was a big no-no in the old days of Ireland. So any woman who was raped, or just had sex, or even seemed interested in sex, were sent to the laundries. All mothers who gave birth in the laundries were separated from their children and never saw them again. This book captures that really well. The nuns in the laundries never gave them information, and treated the women terribly. It is a shameful part of our history, as I think the last laundry closed in 1996. If you want to learn more about this topic, there are some documentaries on the topic or you can watch the Magdalene Sisters movie. Its very good.

 

Irish Legends for Children by Yvonne Carroll

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Synopsis: A delightful collection of traditional Irish legends including much-loved favourites such as ‘Oisin’, ‘The Brown Bull of Cooley’ and ‘The Giant from Scotland’. 

This book was in every classroom in my primary school. It told the classic tales of Irish myth such as ‘The Children of Lir’ or ‘Deidre of Sorrows’. Its a great way for us Irish kids, to understand our roots and learn about the classic Irish stories of old. Maybe Ill tell some of those stories on my blog. I love the Irish legends. They are so fascinating and very tied with the country of Ireland. Makes me appreciate where I come from. I’m considering writing a novel tied with the Irish legends. Dont know yet. We shall see.

 

Under the Hawthorn Tree and Wildflower Girl by Marita Conlon-McKenna

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Synopsis: The story of Under the Hawthorn Tree is about three brave young children, Eily who is twelve, Michael who is ten and Peggy who is seven, who try to survive during the time of the famine in the 1840’s. The book tells of their courage while making their journey to Castletaggart to find their great aunts, Nano and Lena, where they would be safe and have food.

Wildflower Girl is the second book in the Children of the Famine trilogy. At seven, Peggy made a dangerous journey through Ireland during the Great Famine. Now thirteen, she goes on another challenging journey, across the Atlantic to America.

Marita Conlon-McKenna was a huge part of my childhood. She wrote many children’s books, but the ones I remember most was Under the Hawthorn Tree and Wildflower Girl. They are part of the trilogy, Children of the Famine. Most of you might not know the story of the Great Famine in Ireland. The Great Famine (An Gorta Mór) was a period of mass starvation, disease, and emigration in Ireland between 1845 and 1849. It caused great devastation to Ireland, many died of starvation, of diseases on ships etc. Many left Ireland to survive the famine, never to return. Therefore, it was fascinating that McKenna incorporated this part of Irish history into her novels. This provides Irish children an easier outlet to learn about their history, without learning all of the facts.

 

That is all I have for today. I liked looking over the old Irish books I read when I was a child. I havent really talked about where I come from, except for when I wrote about my new project. I have a couple of posts planned relating to Irish writing, author, or even Irish tales. I found writing this post a joy, so I hope to do more like this soon. Hope to see you in the next post x

 

 

 

The End of an Era: A Work in Progress #1

Today, I submitted the last round of work I needed for college. I’m officially finished college. 4 years has really gone by. I am excited for this new path in my life, however, I am also sad. It is the end of an era. Ill be saying goodbye to the good old days, to the friends I made these past 4 years and see where life takes me. 4 years of my life gone in a flash. Ill miss it.

But when one doors closes, another opens. Now that I have finished my last year of college, I can now start my novel. It has been a long time coming and I am so excited to start this new task. From now on, I shall post every couple of weeks or so with updates on my novel: what progress have I made? What struggles I have been facing and any advice I can give to any aspiring writers who wish to do the same?

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My novel has been a long time coming. The original premise for the story came when I was in my 5th year of secondary school (high school). I started developing and writing the story during my last year of secondary school, at the end of my teenage years. However, the novel became a project of my own anger. Whenever I looked at it, it reminded me how much I hated what it was, what it represented. So….I put it on hold.

 

I knew I would come back to it down the line, when I was less angry and became more mature. The renewal of this idea came to me last October or November during the time I was doing my FYP. I really wanted to go back to the drawing board and create a new story off the same premise. Whether itll work or not, that remains to be seen, but I feel like this novel may be the one I have been wanting to write. All my other novels have always felt like I was writing it for entertainment reasons. There was never a purpose or meaning to it. Its not that I didn’t like my other novel ideas. I love them and I want to start them again. But I just felt like they had nothing to offer to me in terms meaning or influence. I wanted to write something that would mean a lot to me so I can inspire myself further and inspire other people (if anyone will ever get to read someday).

And I feel this novel is it.

Since November of last year, I have flushed out the central characters of the story. I have their backstories, motives and personalities. The plot, itself, needs more planning. I have certain things that need to happen in the story thought out but I need to fill in the rest of the blanks. However, I had to stop before I could do that due to college work (look at my “On Hold” post). Now that I have finished college, I can start up the process again. I hope to keep you updated with my journey and I hope you stick with me as I go on with this novel. I probably wont tell you what the novel will be about, but Ill give some details about it along the way.

First detail: The novel will be set in Limerick City, Ireland.

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I hope to see you in the next post. I might post a couple more blog posts this week since I have more time on my hands. We shall see. Talk to you next time.