Things that make me happy

I felt like doing a more personal blog post. I havent done too many personal posts on my blog, besides my poems. So I wanted to just write about the things in life that make me happy. I got the idea from Emma Blackery’s video “Things that make me happy.” Here is a link to it:

I thought it was a really nice blog idea so here it goes. The things that make me happy would be:

Tea

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First things first, I must talk about the love of my life: Tea. Very Irish, I know. But it is true. I adore a cup of tea in the mornings, before I start my day. Tea is my vice and a necessity. Coffee keeps other people awake, whereas I drink tea to stay awake. I know, there is not much caffeine in tea, but it still keeps me awake. It makes me happy and I cant imagine my life without it.

Writing/Reading

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This is an obvious one, but I love reading and writing. I place them in the same category, as you cant write without reading. Reading was what got me into writing, and if it wasn’t for books, I wouldn’t be writing today. I wouldn’t be writing a novel, and I wouldn’t have started this blog.

Kingdom Hearts 
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I think I might have mentioned this in a previous blog post, but Kingdom Hearts is my favourite game series of all time. Kingdom Heart 2 is my favourite game of all time. Its just…so good. I played the first game, when I was 11 years old. I had no interest in playing it, when I got it for Christmas that year. I didn’t like the cover of the game and it didn’t look cool. But I was bored and decided to play it. Im so happy I did. It was a convoluted but enthralling story. The characters are fantastic, and it has childhood nostalgia through the appearance of Disney characters in the games. However, it is not just a kids game. The story is so dark, so deep and sad, that itll leave you heart-broken towards the end. Kingdom Heart 2 is my favourite game, because of its darker storylines, such as the games intro. Playing these games brighten up my day, no matter what age I am. Now, Kingdom Hearts 3 is releasing soon, and Im so excited. Cant wait for the next instalment.

Dogs
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Always been a dog lover. Always will. I have grown up with dogs. They are so loyal, so kind and loving. How can you not love dogs? My favourite type of dog is a husky. Currently, I have a dog that is a cross between a Labrador and a husky, so my love for huskies is because of him. His name is Casper and my other dog is a cocker spaniel, named Milo. I love them to bits. I hope to get my own dog, when I live out on my own. Ill get my own husky, raise him and love him everyday. Cant wait for that.

Halloween

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Halloween is my favourite holiday. Christmas is amazing too, but I have a soft spot for Halloween. I dont trick or treat anymore, but I celebrate Halloween in my own way. I find the holiday a very comfortable day, but spooky at the same time. Last year, I watched the remake of the Evil Dead for Halloween. It was great. I have fond memories of Halloween, such as watching Monster House with my dad, going to school parties dressed as a witch and playing dunking for the apple. Its a fun holiday and Im delighted when it comes around every year.

Hot Chocolate (when done right)

In recent years, I started to love hot chocolate. However, I am still very picky on where I get my beverage. When I was a child, my mother used to make hot chocolate from the Cadburys chocolate powder or Aero chocolate powder. That made me hate hot chocolate for a while. But since going to Stanzas and other poetry readings, I get a cup at the cafés where the events are held. Some were good and some were bad. My favourite hot chocolates are from the cafes in Limerick, called Hook & Ladder and Insomnia. Just add whipped cream and a sprinkle of chocolate or a flake to dip with and I’m happy for the rest of the day.

Watching indie/any movies

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I love watching films. That was my thing, before reading took over. I wanted to become a film director. Thats how much I loved films. Just the feeling you get when you curl up on the couch and watch an amazing movie, is just so nice. Recently, I started watching more indie movies, instead of just blockbuster films. I love them, as they look more deeply into humanity, than blockbuster movies would. A good example would be Clouds of Sils Maria. This film focuses on an older actress played by Juliette Binoche, who is asked to act in a remake of a play she did when she was a young actress. This time, she is to play the older character in the story, while a new young actress plays her original role. The film explores the feeling of time passing, the differences in creative opinions and how that can destroy a relationship. This film got me into watching more artsy, indie films, as I was interested in films that creatively look at human life and human emotions, films that dive into deeper topics and give a real look at the issues of humanity. They are fascinating to watch and I may do a list down the line of indie films I recommend you watch.

Stanzas

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I have said this so many times, but ill say it again. I love Stanzas. It was the place that made me more confident in sharing my writing. It is such a welcoming place, for so many young writers. And even if youre not going to perform, it is just a nice place to chill, have a cup of tea and chat to new people. I made so many friends at Stanzas and I’m so grateful for what this event has done for me. I still go today and I dont see myself stopping anytime soon.

My family and my friends

And of course, the last thing that makes me happy is my family and friends. I have been through a lot these past 20 odd years, and I have to thank my family for being there for me throughout it all. I’m proud to say that I have amazing parents and supportive sisters, who I wouldn’t trade for anything. I love them to the moon and back. Always.

As for my friends, I havent had much luck with friends. People are very fickle and selfish beings, as I’ve come to understand these past few years. But I have a select few, who I trust immensely and I’m very lucky to have them. They have to put up with a lot of my crap, so I’m very thankful to them for that.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post. Let me know what makes you happy in the comments. Id love to know. I shall talk to you in the next post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This is all we know

“You are disgusting,”

“You are vile,”

“Why don’t you just disappear?”

“Why don’t you just die?”

This is all we know.

Words so meaningless,

But escaping from the lips,

of you.

This is all we know.

Spitting out of spite,

Colours drained from,

Each other’s eyes.

“Kill yourself,”

“Just die.”

This is all we know.

War is seasoned,

Armies forged,

But battles ceased.

This is all we know.

Declaration of praise,

“You are the best,”

“You are amazing,”

“Don’t leave me,”

“I love you,”

(This is not what we know).

Take me back,

To the war,

To the backseat of your carriage,

Where words are so meaningless,

“You are not nothing.”

This is not what we know.

 

This is the first poem I have posted in a while. I cant remember when I wrote this. I associate this poem with a relationship so toxic. Words become punches and stabs. You no longer feel like yourself and those stabs just become normal. And when words of comfort come your way, you cant deal with it. You don’t believe them because all you have heard are the words, “kill yourself,” “you are not worth it.” Truth be told, I have these words replay in my mind all the time. Feeling of doubt, fear and mistrust. I have so many people in my life that I know I can trust, but there is always a part of me that is like, “There are no good people in this world” or “you are on your own.” I know I am in a ramble today but I don’t know. I just want you to know that you are not worthless or you don’t mean anything to anyone. I know that may sound cliché or derivative but its true. You mean a lot to someone and they will miss you when you are gone. I may need reminding all the time that I have people that care about me but I do know that I’m not always alone. When I need someone, I have someone who is there for me. I just wanted to post this poem because I just wanted you to know that you are worth it. You are not a nobody.

This post has been a bit all over the place. I hope you are having a great day and Ill talk to you in the next post x

Poets in Music #2

Hey guys. Here is another post in my series “Poets in Music.” I have more to come soon. I feel bad that I haven’t been keeping up with it. Anyway, lets jump right into it.

The second artist that I consider an inspiration for my work is Christina Perri.

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Christina Perri is a solo singer and songwriter who debuted with her song, “Jar of Hearts” in 2010 on So You Think You Can Dance. She was signed with Atlantic Records and has released two albums; Lovestrong (2011) and Head or Heart (2014). She has a third album on the way. Her songs have always been about her life experiences, especially her experiences in love and loss. She sang songs about heartbreaks, distance in a relationship and a feeling of one-sided connection with the person you love. However, in December 2017, Christina married her boyfriend,  Paul Costabile and as of January 2018, they have daughter together named Carmella. Christina has found her happiness but I shall be looking at the work she created during her sad times. Christina songs inspired several stories of mine and still inspire me to this day. Her songs give me insight into love that was so powerful that you cant help but write it down. Here are some of her songs that I love and that have inspired either past works of mine or works I am currently working on now.

 

This song was the inspiration behind my short story, “The Words” which I posted on my blog back in 2015. Sometimes I name my works after the song that inspired it, which I did for this story. The song is about a love where words are too much of a risk. You know you love this person but you cant say it out loud. It is too much of a risk, too much of a change. Will we survive after those words are spoken? I love this song for its deep, meaningful lyrics and Christina’s voice complements the song so beautifully. I love it. Also, Christina’s inspiration for the song was the relationship between Emma Swan and Captain Hook in Once Upon A Time, the TV show. Once Upon A Time is one of my favourite TV shows, maybe even my favourite, which makes this song all the more special to me. I recommend you check it out.

 

Another beautiful song. Human is one of her more gut-wrenching songs. I relate to this song, quite a bit because the song relates to her being a giving person. You are there to help the person you love, whether it be a friend, a family member, so much so that you give too much. You are only human so you can only give so much until you’ve had enough *cough* *cough* *wink* *wink*

Its a beautiful song. I love the message behind the song and it is very relatable. I believe I wrote a poem inspired by this song. I don’t know if I posted it on this blog. Maybe I will someday.

I know, I know. This has to be Christina Perri’s most famous song, “A Thousand Years” from the Twilight soundtrack. This song has beautiful piece of lyrics and I think it was one of the plus sides from the Twilight movies. Beautiful medley, beautiful music and beautiful lyrics. This song has inspired some novels I have planned in the past. It encapsulates a long-standing relationship that has been waiting this important moment in their lives. It represents the next step, the next “thousand” years for the relationship. A love that will last forever. No matter where it came from, this song is still one of her best

And for my personal favourite song from Christina Perri:

Personally, I prefer the version without Jason Mraz in it. I listened to her version first and fell in love. It is a perfect example of a relationship that is very one-sided. You love someone that can never love you back and you can never tell them. It is one of the most painful experiences you can have. This song is one of my favourites and remains an inspiration for my work as I have gone through this exact experience before. It makes for great story. Here is Christina Perri’s solo version of the song which plays in the TV show, Revenge (I did not know this at all).

That’s all I have for this post. Check out more of Christina’s song. These were only a select few I chose to talk about. There are many other amazing songs from this artist so you should go check out more of her stuff. I decided to post this a couple of days after my Clockwork Orange review because I have been too busy to post every week and I missed last week’s posting. Hope you can forgive me. But my college year is almost over. Then Ill be able to post more and be able to start my book. Hope you enjoyed this post and I shall talk to you next week x

Valentine’s Day

Hello. everyone. It is that time of year again, a day for the couples of the world. A few weeks back, i wrote a poem about VAlentine’s Day and i thought it would be fun to post it on the actual day. Hope everyone is having a great day with a box of chocolates beside them as they watch a soppy rom-com and enjoy the poem. This poem would be more for the cynics of the world. Enjoy

14th of February

Valentine’s Day!
The fated day,
Filled with roses,
Chocolates, kisses and
Long night of incessant fucking!!
Don’t get me wrong!
I don’t hate Valentine’s Day,
I would LOVE to receive roses
To pour acid on
I would LOVE to receive some kisses,
Lord knows if I’ll be good,
Or my mouth might as well be a washing machine.
And believe me,
I wouldn’t mind the fucking,
It would be glorious.
But I have no interest in any
Emotional connections that could come from it,
Furthermore, I see no participants in sight.
Merely just a box of Heroes,
And curled up to a good movie
(Preferably Chocolat)
Valentine’s Day is for the hopefuls,
Who dream in the prospects of love,
And new beginnings,
Which I once was.
But I wouldn’t say I am a cynic either.
I would LOVE to believe that,
Love exists.
But I would fear it,
Above all else.
I have enough shit to deal with,
Without being in love as well.
I mean, ill love him,
But would he love me?
If he does, GREAT
Will he be my soulmate?
Probably not!
Will he hurt me?
Most likely!
Valentine’s Day is for the lovers.
Not the singles!

Second Chances

New poem, guys. This is for the lovely people out there that keep giving people second chances and for some reason, it doesn’t seem to work out for you. Hold on guys. I promise you that things will get better. Enjoy!

I remember it all too well,

This feeling of a broken existence.

I cry out my feelings,

But I don’t give you the satisfaction of seeing my tears.

We went to our favourite café,

And ordered the usual.

All of the happy memories spent here,

With your laugh and smile

Over a cup of coffee,

Have been replaced with this empty feeling.

Your eyes filled with tears,

As you spoke three little words:

“I am sorry.”

Words so meaningless and hollow to me.

I have been here too many times.

I am sick of this constant replay of events.

For once, can this movie end differently?

Where the girl gets the guy,

No complications, no bullshit,

And live happily ever after.

But this isn’t a fairy tale!

This is reality!

“Please forgive me. I am nothing without you.”

There it is again!

I am nothing without you,

Really?

That phrase has been overplayed

Through your lips,

The same beautiful performance that comes so easily to you.

But this time, it has a new effect on me.

It sickens my stomach,

It causes my teeth to clench,

And my heart to boil over.

My mind and heart can’t take it anymore.

My big heart led me to these repetitive acts of forgiveness.

Time and time again, it ends the same way,

I’m stuck in a time loop,

And the only way out is to cut you out,

Cut you out like a poison in my veins.

My small bit of sadness is replaced,

With exhilarating joy.

The sight of your tears and the look of realisation in your eyes,

That it is over,

That it is really over,

Excites me.

Too see your heart break,

Enthrals me.

For once, you are the one filled with sadness.

For once, I am not giving you a

Second chance.

Godly Love

This poem is based off the 1988 movie, Heathers which stars Winona Ryder and Christian Slater. This poem is based off the character of J.D in the movie. After watching the movie with a few friends, we discussed about J.D containing the traits of a sociopath such as no true affection towards another human being, no remorse for the pain he has caused etc. Discussing this topic birthed the idea for this poem. Could I write in the point of view of this character that is really different to me? It was fun to write. A great challenge. Hope yee enjoy it and I recommend Heathers as a movie yee should watch.

With the turn of my words,

You were mesmerised!

With the twist of a blade,

You were mine!

With the manic of my stares,

You were inconsolable.

The thoughts of change crossing your mind,

Shattered in your eyes.

You hoped for a resolution,

An end that would lead to our beginning.

I could never change,

That was your mistake.

With a puff of smoke,

And the freedom in your eyes,

My resolution came.

I finally became yours.

Forever.

Out of Reach

New poem, guys. Hope yee like it!!

I walk around each passing day,

Looking…. Searching!

I’m searching for signs of you,

Of your dark brown locks,

Your knowing smile and your tuneful laugh.

I walk down the familiar streets of our town,

And I see flashing images of,

The joyful skipping you used to do

Down cobbled streets,

The way your hair danced to its own beat,

The way you looked on sunny days

With your hair tied back,

Letting the world see those beautiful green eyes!

I saw you for who you were!

I saw you as this pure

Unadulterated thing that was untouched

By unknown evils.

I could reach out,

And just touch you!

Then I knew everything was going to be okay.

Until it wasn’t!

You became invisible in my sight!

Whenever I did see you, I was a stranger in your eyes.

Those green eyes I once loved so deeply,

Turned ice cold.

I tried to reach out to you,

But it was like I was nothing to you.

My calls went unanswered!

My texts…..unseen!

I could no longer touch you!

I would walk down the streets of our town…

But they no longer feel familiar.

It is now hostile, unknown territory

I feel lost without you!

You’re so far away from me

You are forever out of my reach.

Battlefield

New poem I wrote 🙂 hope you guys like it

In no man’s land,

There was numerous causalities.

Lost souls searching for an end.

All that is left are

Two souls separated by desolate land.

One soul, frail and full of darkness,

The other, strong, still loving and still fighting.

Equal adversaries clashing,

Surrounded by the memories

Of loved ones keeping them afloat.

Who would win?

Who knows?

Who cares???

No one!

They will clash and

There will be nothing!

Only the noise of the lost souls screaming

And memories failing.

Two souls won,

Ceasing to exist,

Wouldn’t be missed.

But no one cares.

You can’t miss something that never existed!

 

 

 

 

 

Losing You

This is a new poem I came up with. Hope you guys enjoy it. It was inspired from the relationships I had with people around me and how I couldn’t imagine my life without any of them. Feel free to share this poem with people who love and cherish.

Life so complexing,

With its twist and turns,

And an unexpected resolutions,

I know one definitive truth.

I can’t lose you.

I can’t lose your smile,

Your laugh,

Your presence,

Your being.

You are the light that shines my way,

The warrior that fights

Against my inner demons.

Life would be incomplete without you.

I don’t want to forget,

The way you speak,

How easily you can create

Something beautiful with your voice,

And with the stroke of a pen,

Bring audiences to tears.

I can’t lose your confidence

Your willingness to live

In these moments we share.

You are the reason I am still here,

Still breathing, still evolving.

You are not losing me

Because I can’t afford to lose you too.

Poetry!!!!!!

Recently, I have taken up poetry. For years, I have avoided attempting to write some poetry. I was too used to writing short stories that I thought it would be too difficult. I attempted my first poem a few months ago. It was mediocre but it was a start. I really started writing poetry when I was nominated for the 5 day poetry challenge on Facebook. Every day, for the next five days, I had to write five poems and nominate other people to do the challenge. Let me tell you, it was a challenge. Honestly, I didn’t care about how bad my poems were. I was more worried about the literary criticism I would receive from my friends who are talented writers.

I love writing poetry. To me, poetry is writing the most memorable sentences that leave a huge impact and tie them together to create a beautiful flow of writing. The challenge was great and I got great feedback. I don’t claim to be the best poet out there. I am definitely not but ill be doing more of it. Poetry is a more personal, therapeutic style of writing and I enjoy it! I have always loved poetry by Yeats and Plath but I never thought I would write my own.

One of the recent poems I did that I proud of, is a poem I wrote dedicated to the 1989 film, Heathers. The film stars Winona Ryder and Christian Slater. If you guys haven’t watched it yet, I recommend it. Without giving too much away, I would describe it as a 1980’s version of Mean Girls with a dark twist. I got the idea of writing a poem about Heathers or even a poem in the point of view of the main protagonist. It wasn’t a serious project. It was just for fun. I ended up writing a couple more poems after this one about Heathers. This poem was written in the point of view of Winona Ryder’s character in the movie. It’s called “Chaos”.

Chaos

“Greetings and Salutations”

Three little words and

Our chaos began.

With your sharp stare

And perplexing appearance,

I became hooked.

In a world filled with

How verys and teenage bullshit,

You were the one I needed.

Cloaked in black

Riding a mechanical steed,

You gave me my first gift.

The gift of defiance.

We shared views on

The horrors of popularity.

Oh how I wanted to be free,

From the norms of high school life!

Why must we be separate?

Why do the cheerleaders have to date the jocks?

Why do the geeks have to stay in the land of Krypton?

Why do I have to justify my actions

To three self-righteous Heathers?

You were something different,

A breath of fresh air in my stuffy existence!

I knew you would change me,

But not in the way I expected.

You didn’t relish in our gossip.

You wanted action,

Which soon turned deadly!

You were no longer the rebel I cherished!

You were the psychotic I feared!

My world turned into chaos,

To which, you replied:

“Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.”

I ended up in a more dangerous prison,

A prison designed by burnt out cigarettes

And fresh corpses.

A prison of your own creation.

It was an uphill battle,

But I broke free,

Leaving behind a lit cigarette,

And your presence in a puff of smoke.

I hope yee enjoyed it. I’ll be showing more poetry I wrote on here and talk about other poets I enjoy. Sorry I haven’t been updating a lot. I’ll try to do better. I’ll see yee all next time. Bye!!!!!