Poets in Music #3

Billie Eilish

Hey, guys. I haven’t done one of these in a while, but I had to talk about this artist for a second. I adore Billie Eilish. It was so hard to choose my favourite songs from Billie Eilish. She is one of the most inspiring artists out there and her lyrics are so insightful. I’ve never seen anything like it, especially from someone as young as she is. I’m almost 24 and she is more accomplished than I will ever be. A lot of my choices are from her latest album, “When We all Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?” Pick it up, download it. It’s amazing. As I have said before, this blog series talks about musicians who create music with insightful lyrics, who inspire my own work. I call these musicians, “Poets in Music. ”

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Honestly, this one of my (maybe the only one) favourite Billie Eilish songs. It utilises the ukulele to play this heart-breaking song. Billie’s voice is altered to sound more child-like, but it works for the context of the song. The song tells the story of a person who gives their all into a relationship, only to get nothing in return.

“I came committed, guess I overdid it
Wore my heart out on a chain
Around my neck but now it’s missing, hmm”

Some lyrics like this, showcase a person who tried desperately for this relationship to work. But no matter what they did, the other person didn’t do the same. In an interview, Billie revealed that she wrote this song in the point of view of someone she hurt. She said she wanted to understand where they were coming from, when she ultimately hurt them. Its a beautiful song, with a heart-breaking story. And my favourite lyric from the song, sums up the whole song for me,

“I know you’re not sorry
Why should you be
‘Cause who am I to be in love
When your love never is for me”

 

Listen Before I Go

This song is one of the darkest songs I heard from her. This song comes, almost, as a window into the mind of someone about to kill themselves. The song stops you in your tracks when you hear the opening lyric, “Take me to the rooftop, I wanna see the world when I stop breathing, turning blue.” The initial message is clear. However, what I took from the song, was that it was a letter to the people this person is leaving behind. This person, on top of the roof, knows that their friends will be heart-broken, but still plans to end their life. They say things like, “Don’t say I’m all that matters, Leave me.”

This person seems to come to terms with their decision and is almost angry at their friends for possibly stopping them or just not caring enough to stop them, “Leave me like you do”

When I first heard this song, it gave me chills and if I’m being honest, I balled my eyes out. Never has a song hit me this hard, where it brought me to tears. The most creative and heart-breaking part of the song is the end. You have the end lyrics, where this person apologises to everyone,

“Call my friends and tell them that I love them
And I’ll miss them
But I’m not sorry
Call my friends and tell them that I love them
And I’ll miss them
Sorry”

And the last sound you hear in the song after the word “Sorry,” is the sound of wind, a thud and people’s screams. You just heard this person’s suicide. Its hard to listen to, but it is one of the most creative songs on suicide I’ve ever heard.

I love you

Now, when I first heard this song, I didn’t really like it. For some reason, I was too held up on the more upbeat Billie songs, that I skipped this one. But when I sat down and listened to it, I was floored. This would be my second favourite song from her debut album. Love is beautiful, but it sucks as well. Billie sums it up in this one line

“You didn’t mean to say “I love you”
I love you and I don’t want to”

This song tells the story of someone who confessed their love to another person. And this song portrays the fear and confusion in that moment. “It’s not true, Tell me I’ve been lied to” and “The smile that you gave me, Even when you felt like dying.” The song shows the possibility of everything blowing up in your face when you tell someone you love them. The point of view in song is from the person who heard this confession, and they cant comprehend it. No, you must be joking.

The song plays out this battle in their head, over whether or not, they love them to. Until the final line in the song, gives the answer,

“We fall apart as it gets dark
I’m in your arms in Central Park
There’s nothing you could do or say
I can’t escape the way, I love you
I don’t want to, but I love you”

Accepting that you are in love, and that it is terrifying. The lyrics are complemented with the beautiful guitar strings. It doesn’t distract you from the story that’s being told. I adore this song, and the many nuances it holds.

 

All the Good Girls Go to Hell

I love this song for its wacky lyrics and the dancing beat to this song. I cant explain why I love it. I just do. I also still don’t know what the song means. From my interpretation, it tells us that everyone goes to hell, even good girls. I don’t know. I need to listen to it more. But some of my favourite lyrics in the song are, “My Lucifer is lonely” (such a cool line), “Your cover up is caving in,
Man is such a fool
Why are we saving him?
Poisoning themselves now
Begging for our help, wow!” and “My god is gonna owe me”

Plus, the beat to this song is sick. Please make a music video of this song. Still waiting

 

Honourable mentions

When the Party’s Over

 

I feel this song in my bones. And this is one of the best music videos I have ever seen. Its creepy and creative, but that’s Billie Eilish. Some of my favourite lyrics in this song are, “Don’t you know I’m no good for you?
I’ve learned to lose you, can’t afford to”

and

“I’ll only hurt you if you let me
Call me friend but keep me closer (call me back)
And I’ll call you when the party’s over”

Wish you were Gay

wish you were gay

The artistic way they wrote this song, where they had the 12 steps to get over someone placed in reverse. An example would be

“Baby, I don’t feel so good,

6 words you never understood,

I’ll never let you go 5 words you never say”

“10 fingers tearing out my hair,

9 times you never made it there.

I ate alone at 7,

You were 6 minutes away”

The song is upbeat and talks about being in love with someone who is broken and cant love you back. So Billie’s character in the song, turns the guy gay so to explain why he doesn’t like her back. It shows the selfishness of someone, who wants someone they cant have. People gave this song a lot of slack, due to the title. Thought it was offensive, but if you listen to the song, Billie is basically outing herself for being selfish.

 

That’s it for this “Poets in Music.” I’ve missed this and its good to be back. I should have a review out soon on a book I ordered. I don’t know if you’ve heard about”The Life of a Wannabe Mogul” by Bella Thorne. Yeah, that’ll be my next blog post. *Fingers crossed* If not, Ill see you in the next post. Hope you enjoyed this one.

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A note to the unrequited

I’m back. And the first order of business as I return to the blog-o-sphere, I want to show you what I have been working on. Its another project I have been planning and working on for months. May put it as my work in progress. I call this piece,

 

A note to the unrequited:

Rather remain silent than truthful. Rather keep up appearances than disrupt the flow. Rather remain friends, than attempt the unthinkable.

I love you. But I don’t want to.

A word to the unrequited: Silence is golden. Trust me…

 

This is the beginning of a prose piece that I have yet to summarize. In the point of view of an unrequited, the world seems unforgiving. To watch someone you love in the arms of another. I wanted to follow that train of thought. In my novel, I have a character that falls into that category. In my opinion, to be in love with someone who doesn’t know or doesn’t love you back, is the most heart-breaking emotion someone feels. But I also believe those people are the strongest. To be in love but never say it out loud. Its a tragedy that anyone can face. I just wanted to show you a piece of what I am currently working on.

I have just finished my college semester. Ill be doing my thesis during the summer, but for now, Ill be blogging more. I’m looking forward to start regular posting again. Its good to be back. Hope you enjoyed this post. Ill see you in the next post

 

 

 

 

 

International Women’s Day Book List

To celebrate international women’s day, I shall share some books that were written by strong females or books that talk about strong females. Most of these I have read, with the exception of one. The books contains themes such as femininity, female sexuality, sisterhood, sexual violence and many other themes that bring about female empowerment. Or opens up discussion about womens experiences and rights. If you are interested in these books, pick them up. They are all great books. So my choices of books for International Women’s Day are:

Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

milk and honey

New York Times bestseller Milk and Honey is a collection of poetry and prose about survival. About the experience of violence, abuse, love, loss, and femininity. Rupi’s collection of poetry is an amazing representation of femininity and what it means to be a woman. Her poems hit hard on topics, such as rape and sexual identity. I fell in love with every piece she put into the book and the strong illustrations Rupi created for each piece.

 

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

the hunger games

The Hunger Games is a 2008 dystopian novel by the American writer Suzanne Collins. It is written in the voice of 16-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives in the future, post-apocalyptic nation of Panem in North America. The Capitol, a highly advanced metropolis, exercises political control over the rest of the nation. This YA novel created a strong, female protagonist in Katniss Everdeen and I admired her when I read the series. I related to her cold demeanour towards strangers and how hard it is to trust. However, she is living in a dystopian society so it is harder to trust people. Katniss’ defiance against President Snow and the totalitarian state of Panem is inspiring and what you need to see every now and again from literature.

 

The Round House by Louise Erdrich

the round house

It is an exquisitely told story of a boy on the cusp of manhood who seeks justice and understanding in the wake of a terrible crime that upends and forever transforms his family. The novel focuses on race on an Indian reservation in North Dakota, rape and the aftermath of such a tragic event. It was a powerful read, through the eyes of a child witnessing the aftermath of his mothers rape. This story of vengeance, justice and history is a brilliant book and you should give it a read.

 

The Pleasures of Eliza Lynch by Anne Enright

the pleasures of eliza lynch

Based on the true story of the beautiful Irishwoman Eliza Lynch, who, in the 1860s, became, briefly, the richest woman in the world…In Paris, Eliza is in bed with Francisco Solano Lopez, heir to the untold wealth of Paraguay. The fruit of their congress will send Eliza across the Atlantic, leading a caravan of servants, clothes, jewellery and champagne on a regal voyage down the River Parana to her glorious future in Asuncion. Together with Lopez, Eliza embarks on a series of disastrous wars that define the nation and demonstrate her power – until she discovers the true sweep of her own cruelty. Anne Enright has an amazing talent at writing fascinating women. The character of Eliza Lynch captured my imagination when reading this book. Plus she is an Irish girl, which hits home. Brilliant writing, excellent female protagonist. Give it a read.

 

Asking For It by Louise O’ Neill

asking for it

A story about sexual violence and consent. Louise O’ Neill tells a story of an unlikeable girl who had a horrific thing done to her. This book marked conversation about consent and whose to blame. The book was fascinating, as the main character was deplorable at the beginning of the book. Therefore, when she was raped, people started to claim that she asked for it. She deserved to be raped because she was a horrible person. This book delves into those dark topics that need to be discussed in the world we live today. A world where the rules of consent become blurred, where yes means no, where its okay for this to happen to someone. This will be a tough read, but it is worth picking up.

 

Daughters of the House by Michele Roberts

daughters of the house

Thérèse and Leonie, French and English cousins of the same age, grow up together in Normandy. Intrigued by parents’ and servants’ guilty silences and the broken shrine they find in the woods, the girls weave their own elaborate fantasies, unwittingly revealing the village secret and a deep shame that will haunt them in their adult lives. This book centres on mother-daughter relationships and sisterhood. Moreover, the religious undertones take a feminist view, when Therese goes against the patriarchy of the church. Monsieur Cure represented the patriarchal Church, where he refused to allow Therese speak and called her stupid for seeing the Virgin Mary. Whereas, Therese leads a reformed religious belief with the Virgin Mary by her side. Moreover, the question of the female sexuality and the female body becomes a central theme within the novel. Its a slow-paced one and it jumps between timelines but I highly recommend it.

 

Thats all I have for this post. If you are interested in finding more books by women, about women, check out Our Shared Shelf on Instagram. Its always posting up-coming books and circulates many books by women. Hope you enjoyed this and I shall talk to you in the next post.

 

Irish Tales: Oisín and Tír na nÓg

Inspired by my previous posts, I wanted to try my hand at retelling the classic Irish fairytales I grew up with. We knew these stories so well, and it has been great to look back on them. By looking into these fairytales, I started to realize how vast Irish mythology is and how these stories only scrape the surface of our legends. I may make a post about Irish mythology down the line. But today, I shall be telling the story of Oisín and Tír na nÓg. Just as a preface for this story, the Fianna were a band of semi-independent warriors in Irish mythology. Tír na nÓg is known as The Land of the Young, and another way to name the Celtic Underworld. My retelling of this tale is taken from a children’s book I read years ago. So this will be told in a different way to other versions. So enjoy this retelling of “Oisín and Tír na nÓg.”

 

One morning, the Fianna were out hunting deer on the shores of Loch Lein in County Kerry. They saw a beautiful white horse coming towards them. Riding on the horse was the most beautiful woman they have ever seen. She wore a long blue dress, blue as the summer sky, studded with silver stars, and her long golden hair went down to her waist. 

Image result for irish legends niamh

“What is your name and what land do you come from?” asked Fionn, leader of the Fianna. 

“I am Niamh Chinn Óir (Niamh of the Golden hair). My father is the king of Tír na nÓg” she replied. “I have heard of a warrior called Oisín. I have heard of his courage and of his poetry. I have come to find him, and take him back with me, to Tír na nÓg.” 

Oisín was the son of Fionn. He was a great leader and a poet. “Tell me,” Oisín said. “What sort of land is Tír na nÓg?”

“Tír na nÓg is the land of youth,” replied Niamh. “It is a happy place, with no pain and no sorrow. Any wish you make comes true, and no one grows old there. If you come with me, youll find out all of this is true.”

Oisín mounted the white horse, and said goodbye to his father and friends. He promised he would return soon. The horse galloped over the water, moving as swiftly as a shadow. The Fianna were sad to see Oisín go, but Fionn reminded them of his promise to return soon. 

Image result for irish legends tir na nog

The King and Queen of Tír na nÓg welcomed Oisín, and held a great feast in his honour. It was indeed a wonderful land, just as Niamh had said. In Tír na nÓg, the trees were in constant bloom and the leaves never fall or die. All the people who lived in Tír na nÓg, were young and beautiful. They hunted and feasted, and at night, he told stories of Fionn and the Fianna, and their lives in Ireland. But he never felt as happy as he did, when he was with Niamh. And before long, they were married, and had two children, Oscar and their daughter, Plor na mBan (Flower of Women). Time passed quickly, and although he was very happy, Oisín began to think of returning home for a visit. Niamh didn’t want him to go. But at last, she said, “Take my white horse. It will carry you safely to Ireland and back. Whatever happens, you must not get off the horse, and touch the soil of Ireland. If you do, you will never return to me, and to Tír na nÓg.” She didn’t tell him that, although he had only been away for a few years, he had really been there for 300 hundred years.

Image result for irish legends niamh and oisin wedding

Ireland seemed like a strange place when Oisín arrived back. There seemed to be no trace of his father or the rest of the Fianna. As he passed through Gleann na Smól, he saw some men trying to move a large stone. “I will help you,” said Oisín. The men were terrified of this giant on a white horse. Stooping from his saddle, Oisín lifted the stone with one hand and hurled it. With that, the saddle strap broke, and Oisín was flung to the ground. Immediately, the white horse disappeared, and the men saw before them, an old, old man. They took him to a holy man, who lived nearby. Some say that the holy man was Saint Patrick. 

“Where is my father and the Fianna?” Oisín asked. When he was told they were long dead, he was heartbroken. He spoke of the many deeds of Fionn and the Fianna, and their many adventures together. He spoke of his time in Tír na nÓg, and his beautiful wife that he would never see again. 

Although he died soon after, the wonderful stories of Oisín have lived on. To this day, children in Ireland still retell the story of Oisín, and his magical adventures in Tír na nÓg. Some people claimed to have seen the beautiful white horse through the early mists of the dawn, only to disappear before their eyes, when the mist clears. 

 

Hope you enjoyed it. I have so many more tales I plan to share on my blog. Thats all I have for this post and I shall see you in the next one x

 

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The Owl and the Pussycat

I decided to do something a little different. I was remincising on my childhood and I remembered a lovely poem I read when I was young. I couldn’t remember the name of it. I searched and I searched. Then I remembered the story of it and I found “The Owl and the Pussycat.” A lovely little children’s poem I loved when I was little and I wanted to share with you.

I have a couple of blog posts ready for the next week or so. I cant wait for you to see them. But in the meantime, I hope you enjoy this poem. I got the poem from Poetry Foundation.

The Owl and The Pussycat by Edward Lear

Image result for the owl and the pussycat poem illustrations

I
The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
“O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!”

II
Pussy said to the Owl, “You elegant fowl!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?”
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-Tree grows
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose,
His nose,
His nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.

III
“Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?” Said the Piggy, “I will.”
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

Image result for the owl and the pussycat poem illustrations

 

New project and college – A Work in Progress #3

Hey, I’m back with another update on my novel.

And….

Its not going well.

I havent written a single word on my novel and it frustrates me to no end. The problem is, I’m still stuck on the planning phase. I will be hitting a year of planning in November, and I havent written a single word.

Here what you need to know about me: I never plan anything out. When it comes to my writing, I come up with an idea and run with it. I dont stop to think, and I just write. It has usually worked out for me. However, after I took the creative writing class in college last year, I decided that I would plan this novel out. I shall sit down and think about it. This novel is so important to me. I wanted to do it right. But now, I feel unaccomplished.

I want to write it, but I dont have the nerve or inspirational drive to do it.

And now….

I have a new idea for a completely different project. The one thing I hate most of all about being a writer, is that your brain never stops thinking. It never stops imagining new possibilities to create. I dont want to move onto this new project without working on my novel. This novel is my baby, and it isn’t coming along as easily as I had hoped.

Plus, I’m back in college. I have finished my undergraduate and going into my Masters degree. I’m moving up in the world. But that means I’ll be working on my thesis next year, and I wont be able to write. I want to succeed in my academia and writing will affect that.

So….there it is. My life has become a little hectic lately. My novel has frozen in place, and this new project is eating away at me.

The new project is going to working on poetry, instead of a novel. I said I would never write a poetry book. Well, guess what. Its happening!!!! I have written a few poems already. Why not do two projects at once??

Write poetry, as well as, write my novel. Mhmm…but I dont have the time. We shall see, I suppose.

Thats my most recent update on my projects. I’m excited to be doing something new, by planning out a poetry book. However, I want my full attention on my novel and my studies. It has been difficult. I hope it will turn out well. Sorry for the short post today. I just felt like updating you on my progress. Since I’m back in college, blogging will be a little more difficult. I intend to continue blogging while in college. It shall be my escape during the tough days of college, however, I may miss a few days. So be patient with me. I will have something posted…eventually.

Poets in Music (YouTubers Edition)

Everyone listens to music on YouTube as a platform. It has easy access to your favourite artists. However, YouTubers have been known to release their own music and reveal their musical talents. These received mixed reviews and I, myself, never listened to music produced by YouTubers.

However, in the past year, I have delved into this side of YouTube and I was pleasantly surprised by a couple of YouTubers with their music. For this post on Poets in Music, I decided to focus on two YouTubers who I found their music to be insightful and entertaining as a tune. The one thing I look for in music, is brilliant lyrics. That is why I called this blog series “Poets in Music.” If your lyrics inspire me in anyway, even if the music is sub-par, I’m all in. And these two YouTubers music had inspired some works of my own.

Emma Blackery 

Image result for emma blackery

There have been mixed emotions about Emma Blackery’s music. Truth be told, I avoided her music for a long time. I just wanted to watch her YouTube content. I guess I was being a little bit of a snob when it comes to music taste.

I had heard that people didn’t like Emma’s voice and among other things. But recently, she started making videos about her journey making her debut album. She revealed snippets of her new sound in vlogs she posted every week. And to be honest, I was intrigued. I wanted to hear what she had to offer. Then I heard her song, Nothing Without You.

This song has both amazing lyrics and an upbeat tune. It is a song about heartbreak. It tells the story about a love that fell apart and Emma is trying to move on. The upbeat rhythm behind the songs lyrics, makes the song amazing. Its similar to how Paramore’s sound is now. They write about the hardships of life and have an upbeat tune, playing over the sad lyrics. The beat brought me to the song, but the lyrics is what kept me there:

“If I had the chance to say
“I’m sorry for how things changed,”
‘Cause I would be nothing without you
Nothing without you.”

Another favourite of mine from her, is her most recent single, Icarus:

This had the lyrics I was looking for. I fell in love with the reference to Greek mythology in the song, but I also loved the story-telling in the song. How someone could go so far, that they have to fall back to earth eventually? “You’ve got to let go, cos you’re flying too close.” I can relate to this song, because I knew someone who would take things too far, that it would get to the point of a crash and burn. You need to let it go, to move on. Emma can write great lyrics for songs, such as with Icarus and with her other song, The Promise:

This song represents the great songwriting ability of Emma Blackery. It is a letter to her fans, to tell them that everything will be okay. I promise if you go, I will miss you. I may not know your name, but I’m telling you, you do matter and I love you.

“‘Cause I believe if you go
My heart would break, just hold on one more day”

This is one of Emma’s most famous songs, and it is understandable. The message of the song hits you hard and this song resonates with me deeply. I appreciate and love this song for the message she is giving out to her fans. Even with her change of sound, Emma is great with her turn of words in lyrics. Even using the terms sipping on or spilling tea in Dirt, she writes what she feels and I respect her for that. Check out her stuff if you haven’t yet. Her debut album, Villains is coming out on August 31st, 2018.

Gabbie Hanna (TheGabbieShow)

Image result for gabbie hanna

Gabbie Hanna, aka The Gabbie Show, is one of my favourite YouTubers. I love her YouTube content and her personality. She tells some insane storytimes and talks about her mental health with her fans. Along with her channel, Gabbie delved into publishing when she published her poetry book, Adultolescence last year. During the promotion of her book, she released her first song called Out Loud: 

It was meant to be for the promotion of her book. However, it blew up. It went to number 3 on the iTunes charts, behind Taylor Swift. No one expected this out of Gabbie when she released it. I fell in love with this song for its lyrics. Her lyrics were based off some of the poems in her book. Out Loud tells the story of a relationship (it can be a friendship, a romantic relationship, whatever your interpretation of the song may be), where she constantly reached out for this person but they just drifted apart. Words unspoken left the relationship broken and unfixable.

“It’s time to let it go, you left me all alone
It’s holding me down, it’s burning me out
I’m begging for sound, but I can’t bring you back now”

When I listen to this song, I associate it with a similar situation that happened to me with a friend. To lose someone so close to a lack of words or just a drifting that cant be stopped. I was pleasantly surprised by the lyrics Gabbie produced in this song. But she brought it further with her song, Satellite:

Honest opinion: Her lyrics in Satellite are far more superior than Out Loud. This song hits closer to home, because it talks about isolation and the need for companionship. Gabbie’s lyrics talk about her feelings of isolation and how, at first, she is content with it. But by the end of the song, she realises she doesn’t want to be alone anymore:

“Satellite
I’m a satellite
I’m on the outside looking in
Want you to know just where I’ve been
Don’t wanna be a satellite
So, please let me in”

My favourite lyric from the song was “Need to know you want me here before I ask.” I love this one line, due to the fact that I understand this feeling. You want to be ensured of a want or need from other people. I want to know if people want me around, before I ever ask. I always just assume that no one cares if I’m there. I relate to this concept of being a satellite. This song was more personal than the last, and I think that’s why many people resonated with it. It didn’t hit the charts, like Out Loud, but many fellow YouTubers preferred this song. YouTubers, such as Shane Dawson and Ryland Adams showed their support for the song, through Snapchat and Twitter. Further news, Gabbie has started writing more music and in her latest video, she showed some more of her music talents.

It seems like a typical Roast me video but please, watch till the end. She shows off some exceptional lyrics. It was almost like I was watching some Slam Poetry. Please check it out. I cant explain it. You will just have to watch it. Here is a sneak peak of some of the lyrics in this video:

“It’s an interesting dichotomy of monetized sincerity
Stir up my insecurity with constant uncertainty
Generation of anxiety
The “look at me” society
Dubiety of piety
The gods all suffer silently
I’m sorry for my obsession with attention
I have ungodly fear of rejection
My apprehension and objection is the viral infection
Of dollars and followers in place of affection
What i need is a human connection”

I urge you to watch this video. It is so good. Those are the two YouTubers I looked at for this Poets in Music post. I hope you enjoyed. Please check these girls out. They have amazing YouTube content and music. I cant wait to see what they come up with next.

 

Your Voice

I feel like I havent done an advice post for writers in a while. I was watching a YouTube video of a writer I admire talking about the voice in your novel or in your work. When I started out, I didn’t really have a so-called voice in my work…

I just wanted to be like J.K Rowling or Stephan King or any other authors I admired. The first novel I ever composited was a sort of fanfiction about Kingdom Hearts but I just changed the names of the characters to pretend it wasn’t inspired by Kingdom Hearts. (Btw it was really obvious that I based that novel on Kingdom Hearts. Instead of Disney characters, I put Harry Potter characters into it. I’m so sorry J.K Rowling).

Anyway, your voice….I didn’t really know my voice until I did a creative writing module in my college. I never found I had a specific voice or style. I just wrote for fun. However, my creative writing professor said in class that, she could tell which piece of writing was whose. She said, my style of writing is very descriptive. I agree with that because I feel when I write, I make the conscious decision to ensure that my character and the people reading my stories, are immersed. I dont want to present something as fake. I want people to imagine themselves into that world. If youre in a club, I want to describe the colours used, the crowds, every little detail I want conveyed in just a few lines.

However, I dont believe I have found my voice in my writing. I have a particular style that I stand by, but I dont have a voice that is consistent. Your voice is yours. It is authentic. It is the one thing that makes you a different writer, compared to J.K Rowling or Stephan King or any other writers. It is your way of putting words to paper and how you want to make your truth on the page. Your voice evolves through the different genres you will delve into as you go along. But, it remains your voice. The way you write the words, is your unique way. I dont know if I have found my voice yet. I dont feel I am experienced enough yet, to say that I have found my voice. I havent found what I want to say or how I want to say it. I still feel like I am imitating my favourite authors throughout the years, such as:

J.K Rowling

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Maggie Stiefvater

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Stephanie Meyer

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Sylvia Plath

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Oscar Wilde

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and many, many more.

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery but I need to find my own voice. What makes me stand out against the crowd? What do I stand for? Writers such as Louise O’ Neill who wrote Asking for It and Almost Love, take a feminist approach to her writing and write about difficult topics that are not addressed properly such sexual harassment and rape. I want to form my own voice and I feel Ill find it through the big novel I am working on. The thing I would say about finding your voice, is just keep writing. You will find your voice with time and experience. Keep a pen and paper on hand. Write everything down. Write your own experiences and that way, you will find your voice. If you want to know more about voice in writing, check out this article by Writers Digest.

http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/there-are-no-rules/voice-in-writing-developing-a-unique-writing-voice

I hope you are having a fantastic day and I love you guys for sticking by with my messy upload schedule. I have more planned for this blog, so stay tuned x

 

Format and A Slump – A Work in Progress #2

Hey guys.

I am returning to you with a new update on the novel I am working on currently. It is going extremely slow. I cant find any inspiration at the moment. I havent written anything in a while and that sucks. I need to get back into that mindset and the only way to do that is through reading. I need to read a lot more. I have the time for it. I have a book lined up, ready for me to read. Its called Asking For It by Louise O’ Neill. I have heard great things about Louise and her work. I had this book for a while but never got around to reading it. I’m looking forward to reading it. I may do a review on it when I’m finished. But don’t expect that post to be up for another while. (I am a slow reader).

Currently, I have been stuck trying to find a job. I’m applying for everywhere and anything. Nothing. I don’t have that much experience so it puts me at a disadvantage. No one will give me a second look. But I cant find my through line. What will get someone interested? How can I get them to take a second look and ignore my CV? It has been hard and heart-breaking. Since I finished college, I have started my search for a job. So I havent been in the right state of mind to write. My plan is to submit my work to magazines and competitions this year, so to give myself a chance at building a portfolio for writing. I would love to live out my dream of being a full-time author or to work on a creative team for the arts. But that’s not the world we live in.

Anyway, enough of the sad parts. Not only have I been busy with life, I have also hit a slump with my novel. I’m stuck on a particular character and the form of my book. I got this crazy idea a few days ago. What if my novel was in the form of numerous short stories that connected with different characters or a particular place. I find my strength in writing is through short stories and  in some way, I thought that a novel filled with short stories sounded like a good idea. Honestly, I don’t know if that particular format would work for the story I’m trying to tell. But it is definitely something worth thinking about.

As for the character, my story has many diverse characters with different struggles. However, this character has got me in a bit of a pickle. I feel like she is too one-dimensional. The idea for her came from the formation of a one-sided relationship. Her and a male character in the story share this strong bond, but she was always on the outside, looking in. She was forever out of his reach. They were close but also apart. For her character, I felt like she was coming off as a jealous and hateful person. Her whole character seems to centre on her male friend and that is not realistic. Her character just doesn’t seem to have depth and I know there is more to her. I just havent found her yet.

Struggles of being a writer.

I have been going through each character again to flush them out a bit more. I don’t want to just jump in and start writing when I have no idea where my characters are going. I have done that before and I failed miserably.

It hasn’t been a great couple of weeks. But somehow Ill get through it. The bad days will go and the good days will come back. This is just a slump that I will conquer. And I know writing will help. Just keep writing.

This is all we know

“You are disgusting,”

“You are vile,”

“Why don’t you just disappear?”

“Why don’t you just die?”

This is all we know.

Words so meaningless,

But escaping from the lips,

of you.

This is all we know.

Spitting out of spite,

Colours drained from,

Each other’s eyes.

“Kill yourself,”

“Just die.”

This is all we know.

War is seasoned,

Armies forged,

But battles ceased.

This is all we know.

Declaration of praise,

“You are the best,”

“You are amazing,”

“Don’t leave me,”

“I love you,”

(This is not what we know).

Take me back,

To the war,

To the backseat of your carriage,

Where words are so meaningless,

“You are not nothing.”

This is not what we know.

 

This is the first poem I have posted in a while. I cant remember when I wrote this. I associate this poem with a relationship so toxic. Words become punches and stabs. You no longer feel like yourself and those stabs just become normal. And when words of comfort come your way, you cant deal with it. You don’t believe them because all you have heard are the words, “kill yourself,” “you are not worth it.” Truth be told, I have these words replay in my mind all the time. Feeling of doubt, fear and mistrust. I have so many people in my life that I know I can trust, but there is always a part of me that is like, “There are no good people in this world” or “you are on your own.” I know I am in a ramble today but I don’t know. I just want you to know that you are not worthless or you don’t mean anything to anyone. I know that may sound cliché or derivative but its true. You mean a lot to someone and they will miss you when you are gone. I may need reminding all the time that I have people that care about me but I do know that I’m not always alone. When I need someone, I have someone who is there for me. I just wanted to post this poem because I just wanted you to know that you are worth it. You are not a nobody.

This post has been a bit all over the place. I hope you are having a great day and Ill talk to you in the next post x