What Was I Made For?

I pondered this piece or this thought I had recently. What does it mean to be human? Or worse yet, what does it mean to be me?

I listened to Billie Eilish’s song, What Was I Made For? I watched the Barbie movie. And I broke! Thanks a lot, Greta Gerwig. I know that sounds ridiculous. How could a movie about a doll make me feel this way? But this blog post isn’t about my feelings toward the movie Barbie. I’ll save that for another post.

I can be anything! I laugh out loud. What a joke! I can do anything if I put my mind to it! If that were true, why do I feel so stuck? Why do I feel like a failure? That I must show everyone that I’m doing better! That I am looking for a better-paying job! That I dress better! That I have myself figured out! To dab down the dreams of a twenty-something-year-old college student.

What makes me happy?

The days when I read books and discussed literature. The deep dives into Jane Austen or the horror-filled night that inspired Mary Shelley to craft Frankenstein. I wrote for myself and joined poetry events with my friends. Those were the years I was the happiest. But that’s seen as a dream not pursued. Something that you can’t pay for or live off of. A life not worth anything! What’s the point if it doesn’t get you a better-paying job!

I’m unhappy where I am. I’m unhappy with who I am. I want to go on to something better. Something that makes me happy. But happiness is tied to a better wage. Happiness is tied to a mortgage or a life figured out. If you don’t have a stable plan, you are seen as a failure by other people. Instead of doing something that gives me meaning.

What was I made for?

I feel like I’m stuck between I know what I want and what other people want for me! I’ll be thirty in a couple of years. And what do I have to show for it? I had a good early twenties! How come I couldn’t follow it through into the beginning of my thirties?

I can’t believe a Barbie movie triggered me back to my existential crisis era. I am smart. I know what I want, but it feels so impossible to obtain. Where did that excited 20-year-old girl go? The girl with a light in her eye felt happy enough in her own skin. She didn’t need foresight or a plan for a “better life” as some people like to say. She knew what made her happy. So much changed for her and I felt like I lost my way. I lost my will for a good life or a happy life for myself. So when I heard the idea of “What was I made for?” I broke. I am not the first to feel this way and I won’t be the last. I want to feel happy and not apologize for searching for it. It feels like I won’t be good enough for it and that spills into everything I do. I want to be good enough but never do.

I hate that I feel this way about myself. I am smart. I am worthy of anything I set my mind to. I guess, my self-worth hasn’t caught up with my brain and I freeze in place.

What am I made for? Who knows, but it isn’t what I am doing now! That has to change or else, I don’t know where I’ll end up.

A little depressing and the ramblings of a woman in an existential crisis. But I guess that’s the truth at this moment in my life. I hope you are all doing good and I’m glad to be back blogging. Hope to see you in the next post.

Write something silly

I had a rough writing day. I’m in the middle of my Work in Progress when I did some massive maneuvering. Whilst writing some new chapters, I took chapters from my other draft and plotted them into my new draft. By doing this, I confused myself about the timeline and placement of these chapters. Easily fixed but also stuck. How do these chapters flow together? What do I need to delete or add, in order for these things to flow? I’m so overwhelmed. I felt like I was losing my writing mojo for the day, and got upset. With my busy working schedule and not finding time to write, I don’t like to squander that time when I do get it.

So as a way to keep the juices flowing, I hop on to another project, either my blog or other short stories I plan to write. However, on this stressful day, I wrote something silly. I took a break from my overwhelming writing session and saw two rats in my countryside back garden. One was more gentle and slow whilst munching on some liquid leftovers in my dog’s bowl and the other was much faster, agile, and skittish. I watch their interactions, and their movements, and whilst my mother was washing dishes, I started naming them out loud to her.

I named them “Timothy” and “Rogan.”

I don’t know why, but I started to imagine the lives of these rats, and what adventures they would be on and came up with a concept. I picked up one of my lovely journals and started to scribble about their rats. Something really stupid but it reinvigorated my creative brain. Something so silly that I never intend to publish, gave me a healthy break from my project and didn’t make me feel I wasted my writing day. Also by writing something silly, I was having fun and it helped break away from the overwhelming feelings I had about my big project. Now I know that if I’m stuck or need a break, I have the Adventures of Timothy and Rogan to go back to.

So my advice from that day would be if you ever feel overwhelmed with a project and feel like you waste a writing day just sitting at your computer screen and not writing anything, write something silly! Write something for fun, to keep the creative juices flowing.

Architects or Gardeners?!

“I think there are two types of writers, the architects and the gardeners. The architects plan everything ahead of time, like an architect building a house. They know how many rooms are going to be in the house, what kind of roof they’re going to have, where the wires are going to run, what kind of plumbing there’s going to be. They have the whole thing designed and blueprinted out before they even nail the first board up. The gardeners dig a hole, drop in a seed and water it. They kind of know what seed it is, they know if planted a fantasy seed or mystery seed or whatever. But as the plant comes up and they water it, they don’t know how many branches it’s going to have, they find out as it grows. And I’m much more a gardener than an architect.” – George R.R. Martin

A very old quote and topic to discuss, but I find it very relevant. I found this quote best explains my years of struggling with writing (well one of them anyway). When it comes to writing, are you an architect or a gardener? Or as the Internet like to say. pantsers or painters? Do you like to plan out your projects to a tee? Build a world so extensive and make your story so ironclad or do you like to let a story grow? Without an outline or real concept as to where your story will take you, so you run with it. For me, I’m a proud gardener. Since I was in secondary school, the education system pushed us to be gardeners. When it came to exams, I always pantsed my stories. We are given a prompt last minute so I run with the idea until I finish. It usually worked for me and I did it for years.

Until last year.

I always pantsed short stories and to be honest, it works really well for that. But for my big novel project, I realized pantsing wasn’t an option. I couldn’t just let the story grow because I barely had any seeds to grow. It felt like it wasn’t going anywhere and the plot was too much not to plan out. So at the end of 2022, I started plotting my novel and it helped. It helped me sort out some plot points I couldn’t figure out before, and give me the confidence to finally start it this year. So I love to pants and I am still a gardener at heart, but the architect’s tool does work when needed. When it comes to writing, it doesn’t matter which one you are. I found it ridiculous that the writing community would argue over which is best. You are not better or worse if you follow a particular ideology of writing. If something works for you, go for it. Gardening works better for me most of the time when it comes to short story writing, but for novels, I need to build my world and sort out my plots more. So I think these methods can be used simultaneously and by everybody. They are not mutually exclusive or titles used to bully other writers. I saw a lot of people arguing this on the Internet and found it ridiculous. Write however you want to write and with the method you want to use. Write for yourself, for passion, and write to have fun.

I mean, that’s why we are all writers at the end of the day. We write because we love it. We write for fun and the passion of it. So semantics and distinctions with what type of writer you are, doesn’t really matter. It’s fun to discuss at the end of the day, and hey, you may learn something new from it. But write the way you want to write. That’s what makes us different and unique within the writing world. Hope ye are having a lovely day and I shall see ye in the next post.

The Delight of Graphic Novels

To begin my 2023 reading list, I read a few graphic novels, and to be honest, they bring me so much joy. Novels and short stories are my first love, but in recent months, I found new love with graphic novels and manga. If I want a quick and easy read, I’ll pick up a graphic novel. For the new year, I want to give myself more time to read some more. If ye have some recommendations for me, let me know what your favorite graphic novels are. Here are the graphic novels I started 2023 with:

Everything is Ok by Debbie Tuang

Everything Is OK is the story of Debbie Tung’s struggle with anxiety and her experience with depression. It’s a graphic memoir and I read it all in one sitting. Simple but beautiful portraits of her experiences with anxiety and depression. This book hit me right in the feels and made me feel seen. Debbie utilizes color in moments it was needed such as the break in her anxiety and the colorful moments in her life. I loved certain panels so much and related to them so much that I showed it to people I care it. I showed them that this was how I felt most days. So I thank Debbie Tuang for a great first read of 2023. A beautiful graphic novel, 5 out of 5 stars

The Boy, the mole, the fox, and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy

A sweet read after the deeply relatable Debbie Tuang’s Everything is Ok. I loved the beautiful paint-stroked drawings, and the aesthetic was remarkable. I never heard of this book, until they announced the BBC’s short film. Technically this book is more based on the movie adaptation, but it still left an impression on me. With my purchase, my copy of the book had a beautiful bookmark accompanying it. So Im happy with the purchase. It would be a gorgeous coffee table book for friends to pick it up and have a quick read. It rate it a 4 out of 5 stars.

The Demon in the Woods by Leigh Bardugo

I picked up this book solely for Shadow and Bone. I liked the first Leigh Bardugo book and I liked the Darkling character. I wanted to try my hand at more graphic novels so I picked it up. The art style did its job, had a couple of beautiful panels and it gave good insight into the Darlings story. It has fun and okay journey to be on, so I give this graphic novel a 3 out of 5 stars.

Truth time, I started reading graphic novels so I could add to my read list. I want to read 50 books by the end of 2023 and with my inability to read fast, this was a pretty good strategy. However, from just these few picks I’ve read, I love this new change in media I decided to read. They are faster but some of them resonate with me more than regular novels. I adore the certain art styles that the authors bring and the stories they tell through that medium. I tell stories through words, that’s my forte. However, I appreciate and love this form of storytelling and I can’t wait to see what other graphic novels I pick up this year. Hope you enjoyed this post and see you in the next one.

A Writer’s Resolution

Welcome back to my blog for the beginning of 2023. It has been a minute since I last posted. I’m happy to be back. I set up 2023 to be a better year. A year of removing bad habits and a year of writing.

At the beginning of December, I wrote myself some promises for the new year. I thought I was living my best life or at least trying to. I had the makings and beginnings of that, but my procrastination and my mind got in the way.

I feel a thing not talked about enough in the writing community is the fear of failure. I don’t mean the fear of never getting published because that fear permeates the community. An issue for me is, I have a fear of failure from submitting my work. I don’t submit my work because I always feel at the eleventh hour, that it isn’t good enough. So I don’t see the worth in sending it off, I spend days, and weeks on a project with the intent to submit it but end up never doing it.

This needs to stop. What is the point of wanting this life of writing if I don’t try my hand at submitting? Improve on my craft and hopefully one day someone would see it to print. So I made myself these promises for next year and to HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE this time. Here are my writer’s resolutions for 2023:

1. I will write and finish my book in 2023. The book I have been plotting and working on since 2019! I need this story out of my head and onto the page. And when I finish it, I will submit it to the Irish Novel Fair next year.
2. I will write every day, without fail. Even if it’s just an hour a day!
3. I will submit works, such as short stories and poems, every week to different publications. DO NOT PROCRASTINATE THIS!!!!
4. Document my novel writing journey. HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE. This will be through my blog, Twitter, Tiktok, and maybe other ventures.
5. 2023 – continue that creative journey that I started in 2022. Just don’t let your mind get in the way of that and don’t procrastinate.
6. Keep blogging. I fell off at the end of 2022, but I will get back onto it.

I have other personal promises to myself but these are the main ones. I felt I didn’t follow through with some of my writing hopes for 2022, so 2023 will be my year. I’m really going to try and push myself to do better. I want a life to write and be creative and happy. I feel like I haven’t given myself the tools to make life better for myself. So these are my writing resolutions for this year.

I’m Glad My Mom Died – A Must Read

Disclaimer: This book contains upsetting content such as eating disorders, parental abuse, and graphic sexual content. This review may contain minor spoilers for this book.

I found out about Jeannette McCurdy’s new book, I’m Glad My Mom Died when it was released. Many fellow book lovers tweeted about it and praised it. Booktubers started reviewing it and loved it. When I heard of the book, I wanted to read it. I grew up watching those Nickoleodon shows, so I was intrigued by her book. I’m not a lover of biographical fiction, but once I heard the audiobook was read by Jeannette herself, I immediately downloaded it.

This book pleasantly surprised me. With grim scenes such as talks of Jeannette’s mother’s cancer or troubles at home, Jeannette has great humor and wit that hits you with each line. Dry humor that ties in at the end of a sentence which leaves you laughing. The premise of I’m Glad My Mom Died is the life of Jeannette McCurdy, a Nickelodeon child star who was forced into this life due to financial difficulties at home and at her mother’s behest. Jeannette McCurdy’s mother is set up as the victim and villain all at the same time, as her mother suffered from cancer twice in her life, but also used her cancer to get away with all of her horrible behavior. Jeannette tells the story of how her mother forced her into acting, as it was always her mother’s dream to act. Her mother lives vicariously through Jeannette, and for many years, her mother used guilt and sometimes aggression, to keep Jeannette from living her own life. It broke my heart when a young Jeannette showed her mother the first draft of a play she wrote, and she said manipulatively, I hope you don’t give up acting to become a writer. That’ll break your mother’s heart. Her mother squashed her dream of becoming a writer and went to extraordinary lengths to make her an actress.

When the title of this book came out, people were shocked. A gripping and harsh title, but in my opinion, the book deserved this title. This title represents Jeannette’s relationship with her mother. The need to escape her mother emotionally or physically through death, but she always had that realization kept her stuck. Even though all the trauma she put her through, she was her mother and she still loved her. For me, this book showcases a real abusive parental relationship. A very complicated relationship where you know it’s bad for you and sees no escape because they are your family. Through her words, Jeannette expresses that feeling of being stuck but pulls some humor into it effortlessly.

In the book, Jeannette references “The Creator” from her days on Nickelodeon set, the unfair treatment she experienced there, and her friendship with Miranda Cosgrave. As a fan of those shows when I was a child, it shocked me to hear the inside story of the abuse these kids faced through it all. This story broke my heart but also healed it. Through all the hardships Jeannette went through, it ended on a hopeful and final note with Jeannette visiting her mother’s gravestone. It all began with her mother. Her acting career, her trauma, her eating disorders, her issues. Her mother caused them and perpetuated them. In order to move on and close that final chapter of her story, Jeannette had to accept the damage her mother caused. I loved Jeannette’s voice throughout the book. I listened to it on audiobook and the way she tells her story was exceptional. Even in the heartbreaking moments, Jeannette pulls through with finesse and some humor or even through holding back tears. I swear towards the end of the audiobook when Jeannette talks about accepting that her mother wasn’t the amazing person she made her out to be all this time, you can hear, in real-time, Jeannette holding back tears on the recording.

Jeannette’s honesty in this book showcases a real depiction of someone in pain. For most of the story, she never searches for help. She didn’t want help from a therapist or anyone else. She knew she had unhealthy habits but it was only when she started dating a guy and he didn’t want to date her unless she sought help, that she sought help. But those attempts in therapy didn’t do her any good, as it was only when she wanted to help herself, that she started believing in the process of self-healing. Jeannette gripped me to the end with her recovery and her struggles.

I’m Glad My Mom Died is a fantastic reading experience. I highly recommend you purchase a physical copy of this book. I intend to. The fact that she returned to her passion for writing later in life and after all the trauma she faced, makes it her first published work. I support it. This memoir isn’t like any other child star memoir. She reveals the cruel reality of her life and never sugarcoats it. Even with her choice in the title, Jeannette’s memoir plays a different game than all the other memoirs from child stars we have seen in the past. I implore you to listen to the audiobook and have Jeannette narrate the story herself.

Overall, I rate Jeannette McCurdy’s book, I’m Glad My Mom Died a 5 out of 5 star read!

A Writer’s Breakthrough

That moment when you find what your story needed. I had that recently with two of my short stories. In a way, I felt like I was hitting writer’s block with these two stories. One story I’ve been working on for over a year and the other, I think I’ve had in mind for even longer. I just couldn’t find a way to fix them. So I put them on the back burner for a while.

Recently, I picked them back up again because I wanted to return to short story writing. I always felt the most comfortable with writing short stories and I want to submit more of them. But I don’t have many stories that I am proud to submit. So I decided to go back and work on several stories and when they are more edited, I submit those select few whilst I work on my novel in August. Almost fresh, I looked at these stories in a new light and could see how I could fix them.

Well, let me tell you a story.

The current story I am working on is a short story called “Glass House.” I describe it as a dark and graphic sapphic tale set in a greenhouse. Originally, I created the story for a science fiction writing competition. I had a weird setup where the characters had numbers for names and these two girls ended up in the greenhouse. I didn’t like how that version turned out, but I liked the idea of following these two characters in that setting. So I stripped away the science fiction angle and just kept with these two women in a greenhouse. It evolved each and every time I went back to it. I had another character in the story and it became more graphic as I went on. But it hadn’t reached its full potential. A writer friend of mine wanted me to go more metaphorical with the piece and I felt I had too much already to try and fix it. It felt like it was unsubmittable. So I stepped away from it for a while. Then I tried to submit it recently. It was too long, too wishy-washy. So my only solution was to re-write it. Start from scratch. Then I discovered my issue.

I love descriptive writing. I’ve always been good at it. Instead of just staying with the characters and having the setting surround them, I had the area take over what was going on in the story. So I jumped straight into the dialogue with the characters and went from there. Best decision I made. It makes me feel invigorated to start again, and the story is coming out better than it did before.

My advice with that situation: if you find that there is too much going on with your story and you cant fix it, just start again. If you feel this story has potential but the draft you have isn’t working, just rewrite it from the beginning.

Then the other story was more of a character story. This one I haven’t quite figured out yet but I feel like I am on the path to fixing it. The story grew from the idea I had for a character. Inspiration from the likes of Scarlet Witch and Dark Phoenix.

I always had this image of an overpowered girl in black, but I didn’t know what angle to go with. Do I want her to be a young girl who can’t control her powers? Or do I want her more in control? All I had was an image of her. I didn’t know who she was. Throughout the years, I saw the rendition of Scarlet Witch and the Dark Phoenix. Dark Phoenix took on the idea of a woman with a dual personality who couldn’t control her darker side. In a way that is interesting but a lot of fans didn’t like that rendition of the character. I danced with the idea of a darker side because I think that was where the character stemmed for me. A dark alter ego of oneself can be just as powerful. But my breakthrough was to go with this dark powerful ethereal entity in the body of a young girl. She isn’t to be reckoned with and she is dangerous. But she is fair and will only fight when she needs to. So I wrote a short little piece of discovery. I wrote to see where this character takes me and I think this one might stick. However, I said that before and this is my sixth attempt at creating a story for this character. So we shall see.

So I had success with Glass House and some possible progress made for the other one. So all in all, a successful writer’s week for me. I just wrote for the last two weeks and worked on my short stories. So I wanted to delve into this idea of that breakthrough you have as a writer. There is no greater feeling than for a story you tried to make work, started to work. I would hit my head against the wall and try to work every angle to these stories. So when one idea sticks and doesn’t fall apart, I’m delighted. An amazing couple of weeks for me. Hope you all have a fantastic day and Ill see ye in the next post.

Writing for someone you love

“I hate writing. I love having written” – Dorothy Parker

Fellow writers, I know we write what we know, what we don’t know. Fiction and the fantastical fascinate us and we always dabble in such things when we pick up our pens. However, when we delve into reality, it becomes almost too real and uncomfortable. I feel this when I write a direct memory from life onto the page or paraphrase my real life. I stepped into that dreaded concept recently, when I decided to write a poem for my boyfriend’s birthday.

The horror!!! I know!!!

I think I speak for some writers when I say, I hate writing for other people. To dedicate work to someone who you know or who you are close with is terrifying. A writer friend of mine said they always find it difficult to write for someone else because they feel they could never encompass the whole person into that one work enough. For me, I’ve written many pieces for the ones I love. I wrote poems for friends. I’ve written pieces about people and performed some in front of people. So when it comes to writing for people, I don’t find it too hard. However, that doesn’t mean that it is an easy task. I would agree with my friend. It is really difficult to create a piece with a particular person in mind because how do you encompass that person effectively. Especially when you will be gifting that piece of work to that person.

I found it especially hard when I had to write a poem for my boyfriend recently.

I can honestly say I was petrified to write something for him. I’ve been dating him for over a year now and have known him for three years. So I can say I know him pretty well at this point, but it always daunting to write a piece from scratch. Adding to the fact that it was his birthday gift and it’ll be the first time he reads one of the things I write, I didn’t like the dilemma I was in. I always find the worst part is, not in the act of writing. When I write, I go somewhere else. I’m almost unaware of my purpose in writing this. I just write and it comes out naturally. No, the worst part for me is the gifting. The first time they will read that work.

They know this piece was written specifically for them so they search for your interpretation of them in what you wrote. What if they don’t like what you wrote or how you perceive them in your own words? It can almost be like a reflection looking back at them and they might not like it. Or they’ll find something entertaining out of it. For a poem, I think it’s very difficult to try and write a whole being into your work. You write an aspect of this person that you love and expand upon it. Creating a person larger than life in the lines you write. Because there are many facets to a human and we don’t always understand each other. But for me, my writing is my attempt at understanding. My attempt at seeing them for the first time in a new light.

If you are wondering, my boyfriend loved the piece I wrote him. He even tried to read it back to me, but I was too embarrassed to hear my own words.

For me, I look at some of the pieces I wrote for people and, yes, I knew that one aspect of you. I believed in that side of you for so long. But people always surprise you. There are darker parts to everyone. I started to realize that more recently. So can we accept every facet of that person we love and can we write it? With respect and with earnest? For me, I find it easier to write the darker parts of myself than others. I know my dark sides, I know what makes me tick (most of the time anyway). Whereas, I will never know you truly inside and out. So through my writing, I attempt to understand them. However, when those relationships sour or end, I find it embarrassing that I pour out onto a page a deep dive of this person. I look into them, to discover them and almost reveal myself too much in the process. Then they leave and take that piece with them. I was vulnerable with them and it makes you feel like a fool for pouring your soul out like that. But maybe someday theyll look at that poem I wrote for them and theyll know that no matter what, my love for them was always there. Its out there in the world. You produced a work of art for someone you loved. And no bad blood could ever change that fact. The love was once there and that piece of writing will hold onto it forever.

So writing for someone you love can be daunting, terrifying, beautiful and vulnerable all at once. It is one of my ways to show my love. Ill write you into existence, whether be a truer form of yourself or I can lie.

Hope you enjoyed this post and Ill see you in the next one.

Edinburgh – A writer’s dream

Recently, I went on a wonderful trip to Edinburgh, Scotland with my boyfriend. I was terrified and excited all at once. It was my boyfriend’s first time abroad and it was my first time traveling since COVID. So I was scared of the restrictions and how bad Covid might be over there. But I was excited because it was my first abroad trip with my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for over a year now and I wanted to treat him to a holiday. So we chose Edinburgh. The reason for it was because we decided on the holiday last minute. Our workplace was closing for the month and we had a full week off together. So we booked a short trip to Edinburgh because of the price and it was the easiest choice for the short notice.

The travel to Edinburgh was tiring. We booked a flight for half six in the morning so we had to take a bus at half 1 in the morning. Three hours bus ride and an hour flight away, we arrived at Edinburgh airport. We took the 45-minute bus trip to the city. It was really early in the morning so our first stop was breakfast in McDonald’s. I can never escape that place. But their breakfast was so nice. Everything was fresh, not too greasy. In Scotland, they call the bacon and cheese toasties, flatbread. I prefer the flatbread because it was thicker and more filling than our toasties at home. Since we arrived in the city at around half 8 or 9, we had to wait to till 3 to check in to our hotel. So we started walking on Princes Street to look at all the shops. Beautiful weather right off the bat. I dragged my tired boyfriend to Waterstones because I had to. Quite a few amazing choices and we dragged ourselves to the cafe upstairs.

A lovely place to chill for about an hour. But after overstaying our welcome, we moved along to the local park on Prince’s Street. We went to the section of green that was beside the National Museum of Scotland. Best place to chill. The sun beat down on us as we chilled. My boyfriend snoozed a bit as I listened to my audiobook. My current listen is The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. The main thing we did throughout this holiday was to go to this park and chill in the sun. Nothing exciting but relaxing nonetheless. After we chilled for a couple of hours, we headed to our hotel. We stayed at a very modern and quirky hotel called Moxy Edinburgh Fountainbridge. I highly recommend this hotel. It has a rooftop bar, you get complimentary cocktails when you check in, and the beds have a sensory light under them. If you get up or hang your foot on the edge of the bed, it lights up. You can see I was highly amused by this!

Once we chilled in the hotel, we headed out for some food. We had huge trouble trying to find a place for food. Surely on a Tuesday night, it wouldn’t be that busy. Every restaurant we went past, was packed. So we had to resign after an hour or two of searching for a restaurant. My advice for anyone going out for dinner in Edinburgh is to go earlier in the day. We learned our lesson on the first day so for the duration of our stay, we got our dinner at around 5 o clock in the afternoon and then hibernated in the hotel for the night. Also on our excursion for food on the first night, my boyfriend and I walked about the famous, Elephant House cafe. Unfortunately, it had a fire recently so it’s closed until further notice. Heartbreaking!

The one thing I couldn’t get over in this city was the architecture and the way the streets were laid out. The cobbled streets and upward hills. A very Gothic hue and mystical element surrounded the city. I was at home in this place.

From every turn and up an alley, you never know what kind of beauty you are going to find.

For the first couple of days, my boyfriend and I just went shopping and relaxed in the sun. He convinced me to get another suitcase so that he and I could do a bit of shopping. Mostly, I bought books (no surprise there), he bought some clothes and things for his family. We could feel our batteries recharging in this place. Everyone is so friendly over there too. You never know who you meet or what you find. For example, we had our breakfast on our second day in a random cafe called Cafe near our hotel. (Yeah I know. A very original name for a cafe) It was a super small establishment run by two really friendly Scottish men. They were very chatty, and accomodating and the place felt very inviting. At the end of our breakfast, one of the men gave my boyfriend and me two slices of shortbread for free and he thanked us for choosing their place for breakfast. We came across so many good-natured people in Edinburgh. When our third day in Edinburgh rolled around, we decided to do some sightseeing and went to Edinburgh castle.

Bring me back to my castle in the sky!

See my goofball x

I made him do it.

It was a beautiful experience to share with my boyfriend. I saw the castle years ago when I was a small girl. So to watch him get excited to look at all the tall walls of the castle and the beautiful view of the city below was so cute. We could see the spot we sat at the day before looking up at the castle. I couldn’t describe to you how surreal and perfect that view was. No photo could compare. If ever you find yourself in Edinburgh, visit the castle and take a look at the view.

The food in Edinburgh was amazing. We got beautiful ice cream in Artisan Gelato on Cockburn Street (the best ice cream I’ve ever had), and fish and chips in Berties on Victoria Street. We shopped in Waterstones, a fair trade shop called One World and found nerdy items in the Enchanted Galaxy. On the last day in Edinburgh, we spent it doing the last little bits of shopping and heading to the airport early.

This trip was the most beautiful experience I ever had. I call Edinburgh a writer’s dream. because you can’t help but feel inspired there. Everywhere I went, I saw someone reading. The black hues of the Gothic buildings can’t help but grapple your imagination. A shame I didn’t carry a pen and paper, but I did purchase a beautiful notebook on my travel. So I’ll always carry Edinburgh around with me, and I’ll pen any wonderful ideas I have. I hated that we had to leave, but the holiday was fun while it lasted. I intend to visit again at some point but on a more writer-orientated holiday.